Light A Candle

December 15, 2012

First, there are. no. words.

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Nothing can describe the agony those parents must be feeling or the heartache the rest of the country shared as we learned the news yesterday. M and I spent the afternoon in each other’s arms. I can say that for me personally, this story is so much more emotional now that I am a mom.

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A loaf of Apple Scrapple turned into French toast this morning. Topped with sunflower butter, coconut and banana.

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Mazen and I went for a 3 mile morning stroll and enjoyed a big salad plate for lunch

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Big beans + almonds over greens + veggies

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Vanilla yogurt smoothie with cranberry sauce + granola

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And toasted Mediterranean Olive bread

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We spent the afternoon like this:

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Then we walked to meet Matt for a beer he wanted to try at Champion after work

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And came home to spend time together as a family

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This wine was cracked open {and was really good}

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We made a salad with chopped veggies, a drizzle of dressing and olive bread croutons

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And enjoyed rigatoni with homemade tomato sauce jarred this summer for the main event

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To end, one of my birthday cupcakes from the freezer

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Kiss your loved ones <3

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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }

1 leah December 15, 2012 at 9:10 am

Smelling a baby’s head and looking at their fat little toes is so healing and calming. Going to find my little nieces and nephews today to do the same.

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2 eliz@ourcrazysweetlife December 15, 2012 at 9:19 am

I fully agree. This news would’ve been heart-breaking pre-mommyhood but now it is simply devastating. What kind of world have we brought our children into? I hope, and I pray, and I kiss, and I hug, and I hold extra tight today.

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3 Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat December 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

I was so sad hearing the news yesterday, and I can only imagine how much worse that feeling must have been for mothers everywhere. Hearing stories like that definitely makes me feel fortunate for what I have, my safety, and the safety of all my loved ones.

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4 Grace @ Grace Dishes December 15, 2012 at 9:56 am

This world is crazy. I remain hopeful that we can all try to make a difference.

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5 Ali December 15, 2012 at 10:30 am

Being a mom doesn’t make it more emotional. It’s just as emotional for teachers, fathers, Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and neighbors.

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6 KathEats December 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

It does for ME personally. Me before and after Mazen. I added me and personally so this kind of comment would not be necessary.

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7 Lisa @bitesforbabies December 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I completely agree with you Kath! Personally speaking, I am much more affected by these things now that I have children! It’s not that I wasn’t affected before its just different now-it really doesn’t hit home (for me) unless I can relate to the situation!!

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8 Liz December 15, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Well that was rude & uncalled for! She’s describing her personal emotions, something you would know nothing about.

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9 Sheri December 15, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I don’t think Ali was trying to be rude. I’m a mother of 7… 3 of them in elementary, waiting this week for 2 of them to come home from college, and my heart is waiting for those 2 college ones to come home to hug… I get mother’s emotions… but maybe Ali was just trying to not discredit that other people can have emotions just as strong as a mother. All those people out there who can’t have babies and other people too, I think they can have emotions just as strong as any mother. Not trying to be rude, but not sure it’s necessary to get so defensive.

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10 Ali December 15, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Thank you! That’s all I was saying. I think that women can be quick to judge and assume superiority because they fit into this role or that role. Everyone feels emotions the same and I just think that it would be nice to stop singling people out because they are mothers or are not mothers. The reason I made the comment is that several other people shared similar sentiments and I wanted to add my own perspective. I think I said it in a non judgmental way and I didn’t point fingers at all. It’s obviously Kath’s blog, but I felt my comment was completely appropriate. I’m pretty sure you have other readers who may agree.

Ath the end of the day, all that really matters is prayers and thoughts for the family and community.

No offensive was meant in my comment. I wanted to add my opinion and perspective. I think as women, moms, current/future moms to be, and those who chose not to be moms or who can’t be moms, it would be nice to stand together all the time– both is tragedies and everyday.

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11 KathEats December 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Totally agree Ali

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12 Anna December 15, 2012 at 3:43 pm

I don’t think Ali’s comment was any more rude or uncalled for than your’s, Liz. She was simply expressing something I can imagine many are feeling – as if our emotions or our grief doesn’t count because we’re not mothers. I don’t think that was Kath’s intention at all, it just seems to be something that I’ve seen on Facebook and Twitter. I’m sure mothers relate on a different level than I do, but can’t we just agree that we, as a collective nation, are hurting? Do we really need to draw lines between those with children and those without children?

Kath, like I said, I don’t think that was your intention at all! I just think I understand where Ali is coming from.

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13 Kris December 16, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Totally agree with Ali and Anna that in the face of an unspeakable tragedy like this that we must stand united. We are all devastated, and there is no need to pit one group against another.

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14 Averie @ Averie Cooks December 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

I didn’t hear about it until late last night. We’re traveling and out of the country and some Americans told us what was going on and we turned on CNN and I spent most of the night crying. Kath, I know, after becoming a mother, tragedies like these are even more horrific and unthinkable.

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15 Jessica December 15, 2012 at 11:11 am

completely understand what you mean kath. i was definitely holding caroline more tightly last night and today. the idea of sending your little one off innocently to school… ugh. hugs to you and maze.

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16 Judy December 15, 2012 at 11:32 am

I was about 24 weeks pregnant with my first child when 9/11 happened (he was born on New Year’s Day…a new beginning during a very crazy, stressful time). One of my first thoughts was “what kind of world am I bringing my child into??” (Things have been nonstop crazy ever since then, with the wars that started immediately after that and haven’t stopped, etc.) I feel like the world changed permanently when 9/11 happened…sort of like “the end of the innocence.”

I do completely agree, that once many (most? all?) women becomes mothers, something changes within women permanently, in terms of how we feel about things and respond to these tragedies (all tragedies and sad things that happen to children). It’s something that cannot be explained to someone who hasn’t experienced this aspect of being a mom. It really cannot be put into words…nothing, really, about being a mom can be understood by someone who’s not a mom. It’s like something in our souls and hearts changes, on a very, very deep, profound, sacred, spiritual, intense level. It’s like we feel more connected to all children, to all other moms, etc. We feel–truly, deeply FEEL–each other’s pains and joys in a way we never did before. (I think you had a recent BERF about these topics? If so, I totally agree and relate to what you said.)

So being a mom can bring such depth of feeling, which can be difficult and painful…but despite this intensity and the vulnerability and rawness that come with it, I feel profoundly blessed to be a mommy.

Despite these tragedies, I have hope that each of us can do our part to spread love, light, tolerance, kindness, empathy, compassion, etc. Although it can seem overwhelming to try to figure out how to change the world, I’ve found peace in doing whatever I can in my own little world, in even little ways, to make a positive difference…and that creates a ripple/butterfly effect. Just by being love and radiating that out to others, starting in our own homes and with our families, we make the difference. Peace to all during this season of love and light.

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17 KathEats December 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Thank you for this comment

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18 Ellie@Fit for the Soul December 15, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Beautiful comment Judy! I always hear about how much women do change after having children, and it’s something that I’m truly curious to find out about. It is so sad what happened to those families and poor little children, and I pray that God comforts them in a supernatural way through this time and the rest of their lives. I also hear how a parent’s biggest fear is their child passing away before THEM, and if they do, that void is never fully filled. Crazy stuff!

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19 zoe @ loseweightandgainhealth December 15, 2012 at 3:03 pm

What a beautiful post. I completely agree. Since becoming a Mother, I well up at anything and feel genuine pain when events effect children in a way I never did before Motherhood. I think the love most Mothers have for their children (sadly some don’t bond as well hence I said “most”) is more intense than any other love we have. Being a Mummy is the best thing I have ever done. My heart goes out to those Mothers who lost a child. I think the opening of your post was sympathetic and thoughtful. I am so glad we don’t have guns in England.

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20 Judy December 15, 2012 at 11:37 am

P.S. I have not been able to read much about the CT tragedy for reasons I explained in my other comment…and I definitely have watched zero coverage about it on TV. I find that I have to distance myself from watching/reading coverage about troubling things like this. My heart just can’t handle it. May God bless and comfort the parents and other loved ones of those babies who were lost yesterday in CT.

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21 Susan H. @ The Food Allergy Chronicles December 15, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I hugged my boys as soon as they walked in the door from school yesterday.

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22 Sara @ fitcupcaker December 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Brought tears to my eyes… I couldnt even imagine this. Prayers go out to ALL those people involved and affected by this tragedy!

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23 Shel@PeachyPalate December 15, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I freeze all leftover cakes, scones and pretty much bake with the intention of freezing at least a 1/4 of whatever I’m making, perfect for when you fancy something sweet! Far too many baked goods go to waste!!! :) Can’t believe what’s happening in America, people are really feeling it here too, it’s just horrific!

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24 Suunie@ModerngirlNutrition December 15, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Sounds like a lovely day! Your french toast looks incredible:) And I know, this tragic shooting makes you appreciate your loved ones so much more<3

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25 Lisa December 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm

You are right, Kath. There are just no words for a tragedy as deep as this one.

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26 Stefanie @ Thin Vegetarian December 15, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Wow, at first glance, I thought the Apple Scrapple was a giant cookie!

I could not believe what had happened in CT, makes me not want to watch the news.

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27 Katie @ Talk Less, Say More December 15, 2012 at 6:19 pm

I honestly don’t even have words for what happened yesterday. So heartbreaking.

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28 Jennifer December 15, 2012 at 9:50 pm

You’re right, there are no words.

I enjoy your blog but I kinda wish you would have left it at that and skipped your food, beer and wine selections for the day. It just falls flat when really, most of us are not caring about what you had for dinner.

I’m glad you spent time together as a family; that’s what is most important.

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29 Alex @ Raw Recovery December 15, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Agreed, there are no words.

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30 Angel7 December 15, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Mazen’s sweater is so cute!

Kiss your loved ones everyday is right! :)

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31 Erin December 15, 2012 at 11:40 pm

I live just outside McLaren Vale, South Australia, where your bottle of wine is from. McLaren Vale is a gorgeous region- we go there often for romantic getaways! Glad you enjoyed the wine :)

As for yesterday’s events…we can all agree that there is horror and brokeness in this world. Love and prayers to those affected.

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32 Megan C December 16, 2012 at 12:12 am

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
Fred Rogers
Here’s where to donate:
http://www.newtownyouthandfamilyservices.org/index.php

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33 Denise December 16, 2012 at 7:45 am

I do not have kids yet and it does not bother me one bit when a mother says a story like this especially hurts a mom. Obviously the world is grieving and as humans we have empathy except those suffering from an anti-social disorder. That being said, as much as I am heartbroken and like most people worry about my unborn children, a mom has a real, materialized connection. She looks at her child, who is right there and real and it strucks a chord way deeper. In fact, the empathy I feel as a human makes me understand why a mom would say a tragedy like this would affect a mom in a more profound way. And I can go even further and say those parents who lost a child must be way more devastated than any of us.

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34 Susan December 16, 2012 at 8:10 am

I grew up in Newtown CT, and still live in the area. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this degree of sadness. My heartbreaks for everyone involved.

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35 KathEats December 16, 2012 at 8:48 am

I’m so sorry Susan

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36 Patricia December 16, 2012 at 8:18 am

Hi Kath!
I live in Germany and I’m going to the US for Christmas. I love peanut butter, and getting the “real thing” is difficult here. I want to bring back some “butters” with me (not just peanut butter) Which ones do you recommend?
Thanks! :-)

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37 KathEats December 16, 2012 at 9:31 am

Hmmm. Definitely Sunbutter! I’m currently into Barney Butter almond butter and Justins Vanilla almond butter.

Favorites that are harder to find: Naturally Nutty (anything they make), Wild squirrel (anything), Nuttzo (pricey but so unique), Atisana coconut butter.

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38 Candice December 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Nuttzo is SO worth the price every now and them. LOVE it!

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39 Angelica December 17, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Don’t forget TJ’s Cookie Butter! (haha)

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40 Christine December 16, 2012 at 3:47 pm

What a perfect baby boy! Mazen is so so adorable

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