I was talking with a friend recently about body image. She had said she was “5 pounds heavier than normal” and didn’t know whether she should put the effort in to tone up again or just settle in where she was for a new phase of life.
I said to her: “Imagine you are a cavewoman. Would a caveman think you looked hot?”*
“Hell yes!” she said with a laugh.
Well that’s all that matters!
*or another cavewoman depending on their sexual preference!
Your Body From Their Perspective
Most people see your body as a normal, healthy body.
Would your doctor call you healthy? Fact: Doctors do not care about “the last 5 pounds.” They want to see someone who has a low risk of disease, good cardiovascular health, and a happy mental state. (I’m generalizing, but work with me.)
Would a survey of 100 people check “healthy” for you if they saw you in a party dress or your workout clothes? “Healthy” does not mean low body fat. The definition of healthy in the dictionary is “enjoying good health.” Enjoying is the most important word there.
Would a five year old notice if you put on a few pounds?
And you know that caveman would probably prefer you with some curves!
Think about your body as a human body in the context of the millions of years of humans. It’s only in the last few decades that we’ve gotten so strict with standards of abs and tricep definition and looking completely toned in a bikini. We go to extreme measures to alter the way we look: fasting, omitting entire food groups, saying no to things we crave. All so we don’t have a roll in our bathing suits or a little jiggle when we walk. We need to embrace NORMAL and normal involves some rolls and jiggles. We as a society need to learn to appreciate bodies for what they can do rather than how they look.
Drawing by Kylie @ Immaeatthat who has some great content about disordered eating and body image
Do you notice your pet’s shape?
We don’t look at our pets and critique their physique. We see them as animals with capable bodies to run, jump, and play. We would want to help our pets if they were so skinny that they were malnourished or so heavy they were having trouble with their joints, but if they are healthy, then we are happy. The middle 50% range is wide for animals. Why is it so small for us?
Change Your Perspective, Change Your Body Image
In 2019, we scroll Instagram, see ads on TV, watch celebs, read magazines. Images (many of them doctored) are coming at us at fast speeds. Cavewomen didn’t have much to compare themselves to. They didn’t even have mirrors (unless you count seeing their reflection in a pond.) They had no choice but to think about their bodies based upon how they felt. Did they feel good? Did they feel free of disease? Comparison will always be the thief of joy – even comparing yourself to yourself 10 years ago. If I feel self doubt creeping it, I just think about my caveman of a husband or my children or my dog and how they see me as ME. And then I go eat a meal that would make a cavewoman feel great!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog says
Thank you for this post, it really resonated with me! I’m still trying to be comfortable in my own skin!
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Lara H. Culberson says
This is great! Also, who cares what other people think. Their opinions are none of your business. I just found a new internist who told me, ‘this is a healthy weight for you’. I cried. I’ve never had a doctor put it that way!
KathEats says
It’s incredible how one comment can change your life!
Leigh says
Best post ever – thanks for that perspective!!!!!! You just made my day!!!
KathEats says
Thanks! And So glad!!
Debbie says
Brilliant and 100% on point!!
Laura says
You are spot on !how refreshing to read your blog ! If you feel healthy don’t step on the scale , you are perfect the way you are .
Faith VanderMolen says
Love this post! You vocalized a lot of what I’ve been thinking about. My body is changing as a new mom and I’m choosing to focus on intuitive eating and moving and just letting my body settle where it settles. Ain’t no body got time to try to control the shape of their body!!
Brooke says
I. Love. This. And I needed this today. THANK YOU!
KathEats says
<3
Jill D says
I love this post. Several years ago I started treating my body as a vehicle for my life. I want it to be healthy and run well but it does not have to be a brand new Tesla.. I am fine with a used Ford :).
KathEats says
Love the analogy!
Maria says
Thank you for this post! This resonated with me as well, as I am working on accepting that my body will never be exactly the way it was before baby #2, let alone baby #1. I need to be more thankful of all the things it *can* do 🙂
Jessica Enck says
This is one of my favorite posts from you. I LOVE thinking in this way about food and body.
KathEats says
Thank you!
Haley says
Such a great and refreshing blog post!
Whitney says
I feel like this is sort of an atypical post on KERF (not that I hate your usual posts at all!!), and I love it. Refreshing to hear these words from women from lots of different spaces. Thank you!
Abby says
I wasn’t sure where this was going but I love this thought! Really interesting way to think about health.
Meghan says
Great post! “Ideal” body image has gotten so out of wack. I used to be 20 lbs thinner as a result of constantly working out and analyzing every food choice. I was seriously considering getting implants because my chest was non-existent. I was so happy with the number on the scale but not my actual body. A healthy 20 lbs later, I have breasts and feel womanly and sexy. I think back to the pics and stats the plastic surgeons post of past patients, and the majority of the women who get implants are super fit and thin. This society has made us think it’s the norm to be very thin and have naturally giant boobs. (I know there are super fortunate women out there who defy the odds and if you are one, congrats!) I’m so much happier not trying to constantly “beat” a number on the scale, and I know I made the best choice for me to not get implants.
Brandy says
This is just what I needed to hear, Kath. It has been great to watch you grow and share your journey with us over the years. Thank you!
Kelli H says
Loved this post, Kath! Such a better message than what I see on Instagram all the time. Women in their work our clothes preaching that you need to MAKE time. Even though they think they have this empowering message I think a lot of women feel guilty that they haven’t made the time for more work outs and it just hurts us more than helps us be happy with our already healthy bodies.
Julie @ Peanut Butter Fingers says
LOVED this post, Kath!!!!
KathEats says
Thank you!!
Julie says
This might be my favorite post so far in 10 years of reading!
KathEats says
Wow that’s quite the accolade for this post!! Thank you.
Susan says
I am so confused on that first image… is that you on the left?
I think cavewomen and cavemen truly never thought about any of this. They ate when they were hungry period. No different than they slept when they were tired.
KathEats says
I’m on the right.
And that’s exactly my point! They didn’t spend time counting macros or thinking about their abs – they lived their lives.
Caitlin says
Love love love this post and you. What a wonderful message <3
Barbara Lott says
A. You had me at the title.
B. Excellent post.
Sarah says
Yes, agree with everyone who already commented. This was great!!!! Thank you for sharing. I feel sad whenever I hear anyone mention “the last few pounds.” There’s just so much more to life. I didn’t experience this freedom about food/weight until the last few years and now I’m sad about the time I wasted. Know better, do better, I guess, but thank you for promoting this healthy message!
Nancy says
Loved everything about this 🙂
Karen says
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have had it with diet culture and am so happy to see people with your expertise fighting against it. More of this please!
Ashley says
I really needed this today. I woke up and was three pounds heavier then yesterday and sometimes that just feel so heavy (emotional lifting wise) I am SO tired of defining myself by this number and I know the tricks but a scale does work for me to “keep things in check”, regardless, thank you for this perspective!
Natalie says
I’ve been reading your blog for many years but have never commented until now. I definitely felt compelled to comment after reading this today. Thanks Kath for a great, thought provoking post!
KathEats says
Thank you <3
Steph says
A fantastic post!! So true!!
Nicole Bur says
Awesome body positive message! My caveman likes me with more meat on my bones- I’m in the process of learning to like it as well.