I’ve been really topic/recap heavy lately so I thought I’d sit down and just chat with you all for a bit.
Let’s have some tea, mmmkay?
Adaptation was the best decision ever. Sometimes I miss daily blogging (especially when I read through my old posts) but most of the time I’m so happy to be able to leave my DSLR at home and spend my evenings with Matt instead of working. While I’m still taking photos of lots of meals and activities, I’m able to write posts in bulk and manage my time so much more efficiently. I hope to write about beer, cereals, granola, gardening, and beauty products this spring. Thank you all for continuing to read!
If I were single, I would probably eat salads for dinner every night. They are so. easy. Pile on some greens, add some veggies, a protein, a slice of bread, some avocado, goat cheese and dinner is served. Matt and I have been eating lots of salads all week. Partly because spring makes me crave them and partly because I just don’t know where my kitchen creativity went. Back in the day (as in 2008-2009) I used to invent recipes all the time. I surprise myself when I go back and read old posts! Now I’d rather just have a salad or let someone else do the veggie burger making. We have simplified the way we meal plan and cook dinners. We’re doing a lot more of the same meals: fish, salads, pizzas, Mexican dishes. You could say I got more efficient at managing eating!?
On Weight Loss
I have not gotten efficient at weight loss, however. I’m having a hard time flip-flopping between “I want to enjoy life to the fullest” and “I want to be my healthiest.” Happiness verses health – I know these don’t have to be mutually exclusive (am I using that phrase right?) but it sure seems like they are these days. On the one hand, I’m totally fine with my “mom” body but on the other hand I know that small changes add up and I could feel even more comfortable in my summer skin-showing clothes if I could just lighten up my diet a little. And like many of you have said, maybe something will magically happen whenever I stop breastfeeding. But I don’t want to count on that – and I hope it’s not anytime soon!
You know those people who approach pregnant women saying “Just you wait!” in that menacing tone about everything motherhood – about the drool and spit up, about the messy house, about losing the me time and the sleep. Well to them I say: I’m still waiting. I absolutely love everything about motherhood and my little sidekick. The challenges just make life more interesting. And my house is still very clean. I’m sure someone wants to say “just you wait until you have a toddler!!” Or a 5 year old. And I’m sure I’ll figure out ways to stay positive then too. [I’m talking about the basics of parenting here. I am very grateful we have had a healthy baby so far and minimal serious challenges.]
On Work-Life Balance
The grass is forever greener, but sometimes I wish I could make taking care of Mazen my only priority. I do still get stressed about my work (I am writing 3 blogs and one is always behind). I have definitely had that “What did I do with my time before I had a baby!?” thought. Although I’m not doing the freelance writing load that I once was. And I barely check in with Twitter these days : ) Annnnndddd I’m writing a heck of a lot less posts. But still!! Sometimes I just want to chill out, yet I feel like every time Mazen naps I should be working on something. Like this post…..maybe I’ll go have a cup of tea now!
Krissy @ Shiawase Life says
LOVE this post, Kath, I am so glad things are going well for your family <3
Jessica @ Burlap and Butter Knives says
It seems like no matter where we are all in life, we all struggle with the same things! For me, the blogging, weight loss and work life balance are all things I have the same issues with!
As for the motherhood.. well soon I’l be there, not too soon though, I totally would have give you a heads up! 😉 But I look forward to being one of those women who, life you, loves it and makes it all work and doesn’t get what those “other women” say. Ahem, my sister keeps saying it to me almost daily!
And like you I AM going to cloth diaper! xoxo 🙂 <3
Erin Motz says
You’re doing great. We <3 you around here, so keep doing what you're doing! 🙂
Mary @ minutes per mile says
Katie @ Talk Less, Say More says
I am single and I do eat salads for dinner most nights because YES they are so easy! 🙂
Ditto on both counts – single and salads for dinner; it’s too easy not too and also easy to make just enough for one person 😉
Diana @ frontyardfoodie says
This is amazing.
If only you knew how much these sorts of post inspired us mamas:) We all have our struggles in one area or another and this really well sums up how a full life as a mother tugs you in so many directions.
I’m a stay at home mom and even though I do write a little blog and have a little etsy shop, I’m not trying to make any sort of income and therefore there isn’t any pressure on me but it doesn’t matter, naptime doesn’t mean playtime or rest time for me. It means I can finally fold laundry without my boys running it all over the house, or wash dishes without trying to comfort a teether at the same time or whatever I need to get done.
I’m soooo with you on the positive attitude of motherhood. I HATED when people would give me those snide remarks before giving birth to my first. ‘Your life will be over!’, ‘Say goodbye to date night.’, etc. My first was a very smooth transition for me and I loved every second of it. It wasn’t hard at all and soooo rewarding. I think it has to do with your mindset going into it. Now, granted, my second was higher needs and definitely a LOT harder but when I see mamas I don’t assume they’ll get a hard kid and even if I did, I’d know they could handle it and love it still, just like I do. Motherhood is amazing!
Thanks for this post. You’re do a fantastic job as a mother, and inspiring mothers.
The “just wait” comment is so annoying. At every stage! Before getting engaged, “just wait until you’re planning a wedding”… and so on. I love your positive spin on it. 🙂
“Well to them I say: I’m still waiting.”
I love this line. When I got pregnant with my second I heard comment after comment about how hard or awful it was to have two kids. There was so much negativity! Now whenever someone looks at me with my 4 year old and 9 month old and says (usually in a mocking tone), “so, how is it? Did you ever imagine it would be this hard?” I answer, “it is so awesome, we want to have a third!”. And I mean it. It is more work having two kids, but it is also more fun, more giggles, more snuggles, more joy!
I don’t know why my husband and I feel differently than so many others we know. But we thoroughly love this phase of our life. Glad you are enjoying it too! 🙂
Nina @ Too Hottie For That Body says
You’ve got the whole balance aspect of life down for sure. That’s why I enjoy reading your blog. It’s just reassurance that you can manage it all. I think it’s your attitude that makes all of the difference. (I’m a brat so I still struggle every now and then.) Go have your tea and enjoy the rest of your day with your little heart breaker 🙂
Deb @ Dietitian Debbie Dishes says
Thanks for the little glimpse “behind-the-scenes”! I am always so impressed by the quality of your blog (yours was the first I started reading!). It looks like you are doing a wonderful job with Mazen!
[email protected] says
I love this post! I also struggle with the “enjoy life” vs “be healthiest” struggle post marriage. Hopefully I’ll figure that out one day. If not there are more important things!
And I can’t believe anyone would tell YOU to “just wait.” I never thought anything but that you would continue to be the super organized, super clean momma 🙂
Ali @ Peaches and Football says
Adjusting to life after a kid is a process and you’re doing fantastic! I think there’s always pressure to do more or the voice in your head that is always weighing one thing against the other. But you’re learning; you’re adapting, and you’re happy. That’s really the key. Plus, things change and being flexible and taking life as it comes is so important. It’s great to read posts like this and we all enjoy reading them. Enjoy your cup of tea!!
Sarena (The Non-Dairy Queen) says
The grass is ALWAYS greener! No truer statement ever! Life is definitely a balance and we are constantly evolving. I love this post! My kids are older now (12 and almost 15) and I’m just now getting into a project that focuses on my career and dreams. I don’t regret one minute of my career that I dropped to be with them. I think focusing on being happy and healthy with your family is really the best focus you can have. Enjoy every second with your men. The time goes fast!
Great post Kath!
Good for you on the “just you wait” people. We have a four month old a have had the same experience. Still waiting. I knew what I was sighing up for and love it. A positive attitude goes a long way! Kuddos to you guys.
Cute tea service! And yes, you used “mutually exclusive” correctly 😉
curlygirl foodie says
Motherhood is what you make it and from reading your posts, it appears Motherhood is your forte. I too am a Registered Dietitian and a Mother and Wife so I understand about the work/life balance and the constant thoughts on the flip flop of ‘enjoy life to the fullest vs being the healthiest I can be’. Kath I too am in love with oatmeal and it’s an every day food for me.
Kim @ Hungry Healthy Girl says
I could so eat salad everynight too! There are so many ways to change them up and you don’t have to put too much thought into it.
Kath, Im 45. 6 kids, retired Navy, full-time student. I don’t work either. However I sometimes get overwhelmed with my life and only one kid at home. I don’t know how to relax because its always been go go go. So if you are taking time to smell the roses( read being a mom) then We gladly wait for our favorite blogger. Enjoy your time with family. I missed so much from being gone that I go to every game, track meet for the ones in college because I vowed I wouldn’t miss anything else. Have fun being a wife, mom then blogger!
Great post. I love being a mom too. Not long after I had my first, I could wait to have another! I miss having my “sidekicks” around now that they are in school and into their own stuff.
Curious about the other blogs. KERF, BERF, and what is the other? I enjoy the first two and don’t want to miss anything else you write. 🙂
Real Health for Anthem!
Brittnie (A Joy Renewed) says
The infamous “Just wait” comment. Sigh. I heard that and continue to hear that often. It’s almost like at every milestone there is a worse one around the corner. Crazy that society has this mindset that children (and each stage of childhood) make life so much more frustrating. Quite the opposite in my opinion. Sure. . . motherhood is HARD and the days feel LONG and sometimes you just cannot wait to put your little cuddle bug to bed. . . BUT in all of that I too am “still waiting.” 🙂
Love this post Kath! I agree and I could probably even eat a salad for every meal. They are so easy and spring is definitely making me crave them more too! Wanted to let you know I ordered some Barney Butter off Amazon at your suggestion and tried it this morning and I am in LOVE. That is some good stuff!
Susan H @ The Food Allergy Chronicles says
Great post Kath! 🙂 Motherhood is a balancing act…especially when you add in some extra challenges. My first born was a real struggle for me…he had terrible eczema, multiple food allergies and developed asthma. I did my best to learn how to keep my second son from following the same path…he has a peanut/tree nut allergy and asthma. Our family does not live the ‘normal life’…our life did a 360 turn…I felt very lost, full of guilt and alone. The grass always seemed to look greener on the other side…however, there have been many ‘silver lining moments’ which I would not give up for the world. My boys are both teenagers now…still living and thriving with their food allergies, occasional eczema flare ups and asthma…our family has thrived and strived to find a balance…life is good! 🙂
Babies are great. Even on the rough days: when he won’t nap or he is throwing fit after fit or we both end up crying, its a day we are together, and I will never ever be anything but grateful for that.
My experience with breast feeding was that I didn’t lose anything especially quick for the first 8 months or so (although of course I lost weight post-baby) but closer to the year mark, weight FLEW off my body. By the time we weaned at 16 months, I was the skinniest I’d ever been. Of course, it came back after we stopped breastfeeding. Sometimes I have to remind myself, this is the body I have and that’s ok, I work out and eat reasonably, and I will be fine. I won’t be ashamed of my pooch or the roundness of my face; I will love me.
Great post, I definitely feel your confusion about the health-happiness balance on food. Btw, I really want a cup of tea now 🙂
Forever my favorite blogger.
Kate @ Smart Eating for Kids says
Thanks for telling it like it is, Kath! The beautiful thing about your career choice is that it can grow and change with you. My daughter is almost 2 and it seems that every 3 months we’re in a different place of independence/neediness. I keep reminding myself that it is o.k. and necessary to roll with the punches and that I can be a great mom while also continuing to hone a skill that makes me feel passionate and proud (which, I hope, Hailey will one day appreciate and respect).
Great post! and thank you for your honesty about motherhood because it inspires all of us mamas! Could you do a post on how you budget for healthy groceries each week? and maybe how the heck you budget your time to keep the house clean, do work, pay bills, answer emails, etc etc. your posts always inspire me and that is something I am struggling with currently. Keep up the great work…we love you here 😉
I have a post on groceries on my lifestyle page. Let me know if you can’t find it
I think you are doing an AMAZING job juggling all you do. I couldn’t imagine keeping that kind of schedule up. If you sit down and look at everything you do on a daily basis, you should be proud of yourself.
I’m torn with weight loss, too. I find that my body just settles at one weight and remains there as if that’s where it’s meant to be. Ideally, I’d like to be ten pounds lighter but then to maintain that is a daily struggle, which is not enjoyable, so it makes me wonder if that is truly my “ideal” weight.
Do what makes you happy! 🙂
Don’t listen to anyone who feeds you negative information on motherhood. Everything has its ups and downs but it’s truly what you make it.
I adore your new blogging style and hooray for greener grass!!
Loved this post (It reminded me of Jenna’s coffee talk on ELR, which I love the style of)! I don’t have kids, but definitely understand your wanting to be Mazen’s mom full time without any work interfering – what a cutie 🙂
Enjoy your tea! :o)
I can relate to pretty much all of this. 🙂
And I also call my son- my little sidekick.
Lauren M. Paradis says
Perfect post. I am 23 and I flip glob between those two lifestyles ALL the time. Just be happy and live life or be reallllly good with nutrition and fitness…
In the end … Balance and happiness wins in my heart and life. <3
I am all glad life is going well for you! 🙂
Jane @ Not Plain So Jane says
Nice reflection Kath! I am single and I definitely find salads super easy for meals. I couldn’t agree with you more about the weight loss bit. I think you are a superb example of being healthy and also living life to the fullest and enjoying food and all that is associated with it.
Great tea party. I enjoy all your posts but this was a nice change of what the pace has been.
I have a 20 month old (!) and am “still waiting” too! I am very relaxed, easy going and positive person and I just don’t stress out about things. I also still get everything done in a day – my house is clean, we have homecooked meals, people are bathed, I go to work, workout and still spend time with my son. It just all in how we look at it – and I look at being his mom great, a pleasure, a gift, an experience, etc.
Carly @ Snack Therapy says
I loved this little “chatty” post! I say don’t stress about the weight loss yet. Enjoy life and try to feel comfortable NOW (I know, easier said than done). You look totally gorgeous, happy, and healthy!
I am glad you’ve found so much joy in motherhood. If you look, there is so much bliss. I joke that because I was SO sick with my pregnancies that when I actually gave birth I had post partum euphoria. And you know what, of course there have been maddening and frustrating times (comes with the territory) but every day when I wake up I can’t believe I get to be with these kids and be a part of the fun, the love and the silly.
Something you have to look forward to down the road is watching your son learn to read. It’s the most magical thing and it happens over the course of about a year. It is heaven on earth to see them read. I know you’re a big reader so just you wait, it’s the best.
If you don’t mind me asking, how many hours do you spend a week on your blogs? From my end, it looks like you have ideal work-life balance! You get to work from home, go to the gym and out to lunch all the time, and best of all, see your baby all day long!
I commend you for keeping your house clean! I pay someone to do that since I can’t stand spending my little free time cleaning. Blech 🙂
I feel like there are literally thousands that visit this blog daily, if not weekly. Having said that, I just think you are a wonderful of example of what I want to be when I have my baby. You are self-aware, honest, yet gentle with your self-evaluations and I truly appreciate seeing that this pretty backwards society of what being a woman TRULY means. Keep trucking. You are doing great. And you are great motivator to many others. Never forget that.
Ella P says
I’d like to share with you a reflection of mine to help you sooth your mind.
When I find myself struggling with too much work I stop and say:
“Hei you lucky girl, you rock at work, you are a valued professional and be happy to have a job, these are hard times….”
When I find myself complaining about a suspect of a little extra weight I stop and say:
“Hei beauty, you are so lucky to have more food that you actually need…”
When I find myself hoplessly seeking for some me-time away from the kids I stop and say:
“Hey gorgeaus mum, life has blessed you with two amazing Cutie Pies….”
These are things not be taken for granted.
But to be cherished.
Ella (full-time corporate job & two kids)
Sarah @ Making Thyme for Health says
I loved this chatty post! While I don’t have any children myself yet, I often ask myself how in the world I will handle balancing everything when I do. It’s good to hear that you are enjoying motherhood and that your house is still clean! haha.
Rachel @ Personality Crafts says
Great honest post, Kath! You’re doing great! So happy for you. 🙂
[email protected] says
Oh, life/work balance is a killer for me. I love my job, but sometimes I just want to be able to get home before 7, make a dinner and have a walk by the river with my boyfreind. If someone would ask me if I want a part time job (or at least 8 hour job) a couple of years ago, I would say him that he is crazy, but now I feel like there are more imprtant things than science
Michelle @ A Healthy Mrs says
Thanks for the life update 🙂
I totally hear you about salads — now that the weather is warming up I’m swapping all of my soup meals for salads, and I’m loving it!
Sara @ fitcupcaker says
spring and warm weather makes me crave salads too, and I have not been sick of them yet! Ive been adding berries and clementines for some extra juiciness lol and sweetness! So tasty! I also love creamy goat cheese! Im still trying to figure out the work life blogging balance thing 🙂
I really identified with this post! I have a 4 month old, and I have the same thoughts about weightloss. He has also been a relatively easy pregnancy and baby. When I was about 6 months pregnant, a woman saw me and my husband registering at Target, and I guess we looked a little confused. She asked if we were first time parents (how could she tell? That “deer in headlights” look?), and then she helped with answering our questions and encouraging us. She said, “You really don’t need as much stuff as you might think. And motherhood is amazing. I know every pregnancy and baby is different, but mine has been great and such a joy. I’m so excited for you!” I actually cried happy tears in Target because it was so nice and refreshing to hear that rather than, “You just wait, you’ll never sleep again, my child cried constantly,” etc. I’m grateful for an “easy” baby, and I’m also grateful for that lady in Target and bloggers like you who keep it positive and encouraging. Thank you!
I never make snide comments to mothers-to-be, and I also hate the “just you wait!” type of line – when women say things like that, they’re just projecting their own resentment, guilt, and unhappiness onto someone else.
However, I do sometimes like to say something cautionary in a more supportive and subtle way. I struggled with severe post-partum depression, and the transition to motherhood was – and still is, even 4.5 years later – very difficult for me. I don’t think women should feel guilty or stigmatized if they don’t love every minute of motherhood or if they don’t bond with their babies immediately.
Totally agree with this – and I have read some great blog posts by those who have struggled with PPD
I totally agree with your point on the “Just you Wait” comments. I don’t know why people give motherhood such a horrible stereotype of being the worst thing to ever happen. It does women (and new parents) a disservice. Kudos for you for admitting it, because i feel the same way. Motherhood is kind of easy for me too. We’re only one year in, but it’s not nearly as bad as some people tried to tell me. =)
Cat Hanson says
It’s amazing people don’t drink as much tea as they should. It’s full of antioxidants and it tastes so good. I have to have at least 5 cups of my favorite Pu-reh tea every day. I used to be a big coffee drinker but after I switched to tea, my skin has magically gotten so much clearer.
Ashley @ Coffee Cake and Cardio says
I love your balance Kath!! Keep doing what you’re doing and enjoy!
I think you look great! You don’t even look like you’ve had a baby! I don’t think you need to cut back on your eating. Have you thought about incorporating heavy lifting into your routine? I think that will help a ton since you really don’t need to lose weight. I recommend reading a blog called GoKaleo, especially this page: http://gokaleo.com/2012/09/19/body-composition-that-last-five-pounds-and-how-to-deal-with-problem-areas/
Love the positive vibes!
I love your new blog format and look forward to reading your new posts. I feel like I learn so many interesting new things about food and exercise plus since I’m in VA, too, I learn about great places and food to try.
Keep up the excellent work– looking forward to learning more from you!
[email protected] says
Thanks for the honest open recap! With the weight loss I’d say set some small goals and objectives for achieving them but make it less about weight and more about health. Writing things down always helps me focus rather than putting it off; though in my case it was weight gain, but I use it for everything.
It looks like a few good nights of sleep have made you forget all those other sleepless nights and other challenges you wrote about! It’s OK to admit that motherhood is tough–it doesn’t mean you regret it. And yes, just wait–with every new milestone comes new challenges! I used to make it seem like I had everything under control, but now I’m embarrassed at how silly I sounded–as if I knew everything there is to be a parent when I’m just a first-time mom with a toddler.
As for “chill” time, you’re lucky! You’re not the president; you can take a break from blogging and the world will keep on turning. Matt is doing a wonderful job bringing home the bacon, err bread, so that you can be raisin’ Mazen. Enjoy it!
Challenges don’t mean I’m not enjoying the process!
I agree that the process is enjoyable; my daughter is the light of my life. I interpreted what you wrote to mean that motherhood has been easy for you. It hasn’t always been easy for me, and based on what you’ve previously written (which made me feel I could relate to you), you are also having a typical experience. The process is enjoyable, but I don’t always enjoy every moment, if that makes sense.
No, I wouldn’t say it has all been easy. Definitely not easy. But not terrible, horrible “Why did I do this!?” either! It’s been exactly what I thought it would be, and I’ve enjoyed the ride. That’s all I meant. No regrets. And no reason for women to scare me prior to becoming a mom.
Who were these women that scared you so bad? I understand not wanting to have negativity heaped on you but I found it comforting when my female friends assured me the frustrations were normal. There are definitely challenges but I think getting through the tough times makes the fun times even better! Women can be so competitive and I find myself avoiding the moms who act like everything is perfect all the time because it makes me feel less than. I’m not in an official moms’ group like you are but I try to spend time with moms that can relate/commiserate with the tough times as well as cheer on the tiniest of baby’s accomplishments 🙂 I’ve never met a mom who thinks its so horrible that they wish they didn’t have a kid; I do know several who suffered PPD, had a really tough baby, felt disconnected from their spouse for months, etc yet love their baby fiercely and wouldn’t change a thing. It’s all part of the process!
Alyssa @ Road to RD says
I love your blog the way it is! I did enjoy reading your posts 3 times a day last year, but change is part of life and it sounds like you made the right choices! Keep up the great work!
I actually really like the new style of your blog! I love using it as a resource now. To be honest, I unsubscribed from KERF a while back when the posting was mainly pictures of food. I checked in randomly one day and it was the day after you posted that survey about content. I felt like you were coming to the blog with a new and fresh perspective, so I was excited to join back in. Keep up the great work!
Lovely post! I say bravo on all accounts.
This post (as well as your blog) makes me hopeful about the prospect of having children one day (I’m in my 20s and engaged, but not thinking about that step yet). Just yesterday i had read this article:
…and it scared me to death. The comments didn’t make it any better! My mother herself has always been one of those who heed that “just you wait / you’ll see” warning, so this has always been in the back of my mind from a young age.
Anyway, thank you for sharing your positive outlook with us readers.
Hey there! So when do you write your posts? On the weekends and during Mazen’s naps? I assumed you did them at night after putting Mazen to bed, but it sounds like that’s Matt time. I have no idea when you were writing them when Mazen wasn’t napping very consistently! 🙂
Mostly morning nap now. And on the weekend. Occasional nights. Whenever a good window pops up!
I feel the same way about wishing Cailin was my only priority. Some days I wish I could just be a stay at home mom and not have to teach and other days I realize that if I wasn’t teaching I’m sure my PPD would come back full force. When I was home on spring break I realized I was sinking back into it because I was alone (with baby) all day. I don’t do well alone.
I also wanted to say I FINALLY found crunchy Biscoff at Target the other day and I am in love! It is amazing!!!
Hillary | Nutrition Nut on the Run says
Thanks for the tea time updates 🙂
What’s blog #3?
Anthem Real Health
Sarah @ An Apple A Day says
I really, really love your blog. Thank you for your peaceful, calm and meaningful posts.
Never commented but just wanted to give some quick praise. I love a lot of the same foods you do, so it’s easy to model my diet to yours. You’re more creative than I am.
My final baby pounds disappeared as soon as I finished breastfeeding both kids (and I gained 50 lbs with the second one!). I think maybe our bodies know we need reserves? And you look great now, so I would just enjoy life.
Thank you for all your posts about cville. I have enjoyed our vacation here so much because of all your recommendations. I felt like we had the inside scoop on all the restaurants, vineyards and places to go. From zocalo, eppies, bodos, to king family, pollak, and varitas and of course great harvest. And we enjoyed beer run EVERY night this week :-). Thanks so so much!! 🙂
I feel exactly the same about motherhood. When is the hard part starts? 😉
Loved your musings. Yeah, just you wait until Mazen is 2 years old! I love 2! 🙂 Cute bodies, cute talking, cute everything! 🙂 Somewhere along the line I was told baby years are a lot of work…having number one is so fun but I think each time you have a baby you have to give yourself grace that first year for the time space that baby takes up. Somethings have to give, and then all to soon that year will be past and it will seem short. You are doing great! I sure hope you can get your balance to a place where you feel you can relax during some of his naps – though I can relate to what you are saying…staying at home for me rarely translates to propping my feet up on the coffee table and reading but I like to dream about it! 🙂
I love this post. I love when you remind us all that you are human too. It is so comforting to see you doing so well, but being so real about everything. Thank you for your honesty!! You’re doing a great job, mom!
Wow you guys must all have easy kids and easy lives! I think it’s a bit of a disservice to not talk about the realities of motherhood, and especially being a working mom. Exhaustion, not being able to take care of yourself, catching puke all night, uncontrollable tantrums, whining allllll day long, coming home from the babysitter with your kid saying “I don’t want [the babysitter] to change me” (WTF??), going to work when you’re sick because you have to save sick days for when the kid is sick, calling 911 in the middle of the night with croup, subsequent trip to the ER via ambulance, sitting in the ER all night, 2 hours of sleep then up and showering to get to a mandatory work meeting…. Yes I love my child more than anything. But I appreciate when I can break down with another mom who is like YEP, totally get it!! You know, like the mom with the kid having a full meltdown at the checkout at Target. Yeah, that’s me. Just sayin 🙂
Keepin’ it real! I haven’t gotten to the throw up yet.. Not looking forward to that! I think my response to this though is that because it’s YOUR child, it’s all done out of love and necessity rather than reluctance. Doing all that with someone else’s kid sounds like hell, but with mine a different story.
Perfectly stated, Kath. This makes way more sense to me than the idea that motherhood is easy!
Mine is 10 years old now. I was sleepless for first 4 years, had to quit my studies, became underweight, terribly exhausted and what not…. BUT – it depends how you at/perceive it.
Keep your spirits up and try to be more positive!
Debbie (Accidently Delish) says
As much as I love your blog, I want to make the comment of do whatever makes you happiest! And if that is spending more time with your family, then I think you should do that. Another point I wanted to comment on was your weight loss. Sweetie one thing I learned is being skinny does not make you happier. You ARE healthy. And I truly believe happiness is more important that what society tells us is “healthy”. Health to me and is enjoying life, being happy, and enjoying every moment you have with family and friends. You definitely don’t have the “mom body” you see yourself as having. You look wonderful. And remember who gave you that body, your precious son. Who I’m sure is worth it.
I hope you find your happy balance again, but remember your happiness and your family’s happiness is the most important.
Just catching up on posts and have to agree 100% with Debbie.
In my mind, you are what a healthy diet/lifestye looks like and have been a great role model for me. I am so glad you talked about the weight loss balance – it is something I have struggled with also. Since you are well within the healthy weight range for your height, I can see how it would be a dilemma.
Also, we’re TTC and I went back to Baby Kerf recently and re-read all of your initial posts. I read them in real time also and found the to be very helpful! Thank you!
Michele Sparrow says
I totally relate to your statement “I absolutely love motherhood.” When my boys were infants, some other moms would say the same thing to me: “Just you wait.” Wait for what? It is a silly thing to say, really because, even if it was the ultimate challenge coming up, why must we “wait” for it, like it is a tornado or a hurricane that we are meant to prepare for? I have always loved being a mother and have never been one of those moms that needs “me” time to get out of the house away from my kids. They are the light of my life and now that my oldest is a senior in high school and a whole foot taller than I am, I ache a little recognizing that all those delightful years of them cuddling in my lap and needing me to put bandaids on their owies are coming to a close. True, another stage is coming now, but I think it is a good thing for us moms to remember that every single phase is a great joy and the challenges make for deeper relationships with our children. My two teenage boys are very close to my husband and I and we talk every day, sometimes for hours at a time.
As for the weight loss, I understand your dilemma in wanting to “enjoy life to the fullest” while wanting to be your healthiest. For me, I have had to get to the point where I realize that making healthy choices (which inevitably keep my weight low) are ultimately for my overall well being. I know you are not saying this, but food and drink are not entertainment. This is something I remind myself of occasionally and it does help because ultimately, the choices I make about food, effect my mood, health, weight and overall outlook about myself. Therefore, if I make a choice that isn’t the best for me but it is “fun”, I try to let it go but recognize that I could have and should have made a better choice, one that better serves me in many areas instead of just fun for a moment and/or a moment of “oooh, this tastes good.” Then hope to do so the next time around. Does that make sense?
Maybe I said too much! 🙂
Love your take on motherhood!
+ your body looks beautiful!!! You can definitely afford eating out and other small indulgences; so just enjoy it!
Rebecca King says
I love salads too. Not just because they are easy, or good for you. There is so much you can add to them and it is an entire meal. Love your posts!
Im glad motherhood is treating you well and I have to say that I really am enjoying your new style of blogging. (And yes, you used mutually exclusive correctly!)
What you said about Motherhood: Truth. Some seasoned mothers love to warn about the trials of motherhood but are seldom to praise it. More recently I am getting the “just wait until you have two or three children . . . “, when I express how much great it is with one baby.
Jen in MN says
I think we can all agree (in general) that our kids are the lights of our lives, we don’t regret them for a second, and that being a mom is pretty amazing overall.
But there’s such a range of experiences with motherhood. And that’s what makes it such an interesting subject! While I definitely don’t appreciate the type of “scary warning” commentary that you’re referencing here (i.e., “just you wait!” said in a knowing, negative tone) – I do think that sometimes, those comments come from a place of wanting to commiserate, to relate, to share community/understanding. However misguided they may be in making them.
I have 2 girls now. (almost 4, and almost 1). With my first, I sailed smoothly through. Never experience anything close to PPD, was able to fit her right into our life within just a few months, etc. It was fantastic! And I loved it. Fast forward to this past year: my second daughter had tough MSPI/reflux which made the first few months a special kind of hell. I believe that triggered me toward PPD/anxiety eventually, which I left untreated for too long (partly because I didn’t fully realize that it was going on). For various reasons, adjusting to a second child in the midst of raising an increasingly sassy and opinionated 3 year old (kind of comes with the territory of 3 – terrible twos is generally a misnomer IMO) – was (and is) a pretty rough ride for me. We’re still working on it. It’s getting better, bit by bit. And I’m one to try to put a positive spin on just about anything! While keeping one foot grounded in the reality of what’s going on, at the same time.
In regard to a commenter a little ways up…….I’m a mama who, much as I love and enjoy both my girls so much, has always needed a fair amount of “me” time away. I think we as moms (general we, NOT you or anyone specifically) should be very very careful against judging each other on this type of thing (I could just as easily fall into this, too, from the other side of the coin). For mamas who literally love every second with their kid(s) and never feel the need to get away, or have a break – great! That’s your personality and preference. But for mamas like me, that need regular time away (with friends, or by myself, to read and think and write and have coffee and lunch and dinner without constantly referreeing children) – there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, either. We are all different, and that’s what makes the world go ’round (-:
I hope this comes across in the spirit in which it’s meant. It’s not meant to be a criticism of your post. Not in the least. In fact, I love your positive outlook on things! And I’m always glad to hear when a fellow mama has a good experience transitioning into motherhood. I guess this is, more than anything else, my rambling attempt to add just a bit of nuance to the conversation at hand.
Keep up the great work! I, also, am enjoying your new blogging format.
Did you ever think that living life to your fullest is making you at your healthiest right now? I guarantee you that you are equally as healthy as you would be if you lost 10 pounds. I bet all your numbers at the doctor with blood tests, etc would be the same because you are still a balanced healthy eater and exercise! I don’t want women to equate weight loss with health. Like you were thinking about, they are not always mutually exclusive! I hope you can keep positive language with talking to yourself! You seem so much more ALIVE now as I read your blog! 🙂
The only advise I can offer is to be kind to yourself. You’ve had some pretty big changes in the last year, give yourself time to make adjustments it to what works best for you. Small changes could make a huge difference for you both mentally and physically. And if you’re feeling all together burnt out, take a break. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re not able to use Mazen’s naptime to do absolutely nothing productive! We all deserve that once in a while. So treat yourself next naptime to some relaxing on the porch with a magazine and some lemonade!
Great post and great attitude on all topics…so wonderful to hear that you are feeling so content w/ your scaled down professional schedule and esp. your new mommy role. Your optimism is obviously serving you well as you move through these transitions. Mazel Tov:)
On the other hand, I do take issue with you throwing out the term: “mom body.” This reference makes me bristle as I don’t think we should be spreading this sort of excuse-laden stereotypical image. It surprises me that you’d use it, even casually. You are normally so grounded in facts and reality on this subject, Kath.
I agree that I don’t care for the term “mom body”. Our bodies change as we have children and get older but that term makes it seem like after having children we are somehow “less”.
I know that it feels like seven months from birth should mean you are back to prepregnancy weight but it takes longer than that for most women. Between nursing and lots of great exercise, your body is doing everything it can to keep a little extra on for survival’s sake (biologically speaking). Our bodies are very smart.
With all 4 of my children, my natural weight returned by a year. I know my body needed that extra 5-10 lbs during that first year (as all my children have nursed for several years each).
By the way, as others have said, you look wonderfully healthy. You are in amazing shape!
I don’t comment often, but I just wanted to say I still LOVE your blog! 🙂 Keep up the great work! 🙂
Sounds fun! We love having tea parties at our house. Also, you have great input. It’s always fun to read your comments and thoughts. Thank you for sharing!
Love this honest post, Kath. Re: food, the same thing happened to me after Lucy’s arrival…I feel the EXACT same way. Re: weight loss, I wrestle with this too!