I have some news to share with you guys today. I’m nervous about it! There’s always a divide between wanting to be completely honest and wanting to keep my personal life totally private. But the thing is: you deserve the truth because I know so many of you care.
Matt and I are separating.
Some of you are probably shocked and others have suspected, as he hasn’t been as front and center on the blog as he once was. This wasn’t an overnight decision, but something that has been building, or rather unraveling, for over a year.
Matt and I met when we were 18 years old. Teenagers. We immediately fell for each other and started dating mid-way through our freshman year of college. We never looked back because we knew we’d make great life partners. And we have been great partners. Six years of dating led to eight years of marriage and that’s where we are today. We’ve been together almost 15 years – nearly half of our lives – and we grew up together. But we have started traveling down separate paths that have made us question our identity as individuals. We don’t know yet if this separation will lead to a divorce – we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But for now, we’re changing our relationship from that of husband and wife to one of co-parents and friends.
Our separation is bittersweet and totally mutual. We have Mazen as our priority every step of the way, and his happiness is most important to us both in this process. We think he’s a little too young to understand what’s going on, and we hope to maintain as much normalcy as we can to his life. This post Janae wrote made me cry, but also gave me hope. I know with the right attitudes and lots of love Mazen will be ok. I will continue to live in our house, so he will maintain a sense of home that he has known, but he’ll also get to spend time with his dad at his new place too.
Totally unrelated, but worth sharing in this big update post is that the bakery is for sale! When we opened our doors five years ago, we weren’t sure if this would be a 5-10 year passion project or a lifetime career. As the bakery grew and the city changed, our store began to take on more of a restaurant aspect. Our lunchtime and catering business has been steadily growing, and the bread baking that Matt loves has become less of the focus. With this in mind, he’s decided that he’d like to pursue other passions. We are looking for new owners who are excited about taking the bakery in the new direction it is headed. We actually have two couples who are interested in buying it already, and we’ll see where that heads. If YOU want to buy it – please let us know!! 🙂 We will always love GH Cville and will continue to support the bakery in any way we can.
If you couldn’t guess, Matt is headed into the beer industry. Homebrewing has been his passion since we lived in Charlotte, and he has already secured a job as general manager at a brewery opening in town this summer called Random Row Brewing Co. His experience at Great Harvest in inventory, operations, employee management and the like will transfer well. He likes to say he’s just going to be working with bread in liquid form : )
As for me, I’m happy and excited for the future. I’m an extremely optimistic and practical person, and I try to see the good in anything. A friend told me recently that suffering stems from worrying about the past or future, so I’m doing my best to try to enjoy each day as it comes. I look forward to sharing the future with you guys!
Oh Kath, I am so sorry to hear you going through all this right now. I will keep you in my thoughts.
I am sorry to hear this. Best wishes to the three of you as you navigate this difficult time.
My heart goes out to you, Kath! I’ve been reading your blog since 2007 (2008, maybe? It’s been a long time!) and I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. One thing I know about you, though, is that you’re strong enough to get through even the toughest challenges 🙂
I am so appreciative of your transparency and honesty. I am so sorry you and Matt are going through this but I have no doubt that whatever y’all choose to do will be the right decision. Thank you so much for keeping it real. I feel like it has been lacking in the blogging world recently (not just on your blog) and so it is refreshing to read a post like this, sad as it may be. That said, with every ending comes a new beginning. So excited for you and all tat your future may hold.
meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles says
Thank you for sharing such a personal topic with your readers. I totally understand and relate as my marriage started falling apart when my son was not even 3. It’s not easy but co-parenting well and getting along for mazen while you figuring things out is so important! wishing you well through the process – it all turns out the way it should and for the best
I’m sorry to read this Kath, as I’m sure it cannot be an easy transition. Best of luck to you both 🙂
Stepfanie @ The Flexible Kitchen says
Oh, Kath! Thank you for opening up and sharing this. Sending you and your family love during this challenging time. I’ve been reading a lot of Brene Brown’s work lately, and I find her approach to vulnerability particularly empowering during hard times.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” – Brene Brown
Thank you so much for your bravery and honesty in sharing such a personal post. This hits so close to home because I also met my (now ex) husband as a teenager, dated all through college, and was married for 7 years. My separation and divorce were hands down the hardest thing I have ever been through. Ours wasn’t quite as amicable – we had a toddler and I was pregnant when I discovered he wasn’t being faithful – but regardless of the circumstances, it’s HARD. Janae’s post above is awesome, as well as her older posts from when she was going through her divorce. The one thing that was so important to me (and I’m so glad I did it), was always keep the kids as the number one priority. Even when I was hurt, angry, and the last thing I wanted to do was take the high road – I always did. No one sets out on a marriage thinking it will end up as a separation or divorce, but the hard truth is that some do. It’s not my “ideal” for them, but my kids are happy, well-adjusted, see both parents equally, and have more people in their lives that love them. And I also realized in hindsight that I wasn’t truly happy in that relationship either. Anyways, this is a long rambling way of saying that I’m sending my best wishes for you and your family as you navigate this tough road – you aren’t alone!
I’m so sorry to hear about your separation. Sending all 3 of you good thoughts. You are a strong woman and mother. You will get through this!
Kelli @ Hungry Hobby says
Your journey has always inspired me and I’m sure it will continue to do so. By sharing such a personal story free of negativity you create so much hope for women every where in the same situation. Thank you for sharing your heart out, your family and bakery sale will be in our prayers.
Kath, I just want to commend you on your bravery. I can’t imagine how difficult of a decision this was to make and to share with the world. It is hard to go against the current and embark on a different path…takes incredible strength of character. Mazen is lucky to have such a strong woman as a mom. Sounds like you’re following your heart – keep following it, and it will take you great places. Treat yourself to a big glass of wine and a cupcake today – it’s the beginning of a new chapter.
I have read your blog for many years, I think 8 at this point, and rarely comment. I just had to comment on this post though. I appreciate you being so open and honest with your readers. I was surprised actually, but I had noticed him less and less in your posts so it isn’t a total shock. I wish you happiness on your new journey and I hope this will be amazing for you.
I don’t know you but I feel like I do reading your blog…and I’m just so sorry. I know you are doing what’s best for you and Mazen though so I’m glad for that. You’ll always have the support of your readers! I wish you the best of luck in this new stage, whatever that may be!
Carmen Wells Quigg says
I have read your blog for a long time but never commented. My heart goes out to you, Matt and Mazen as you find your new sense of normal.
Your readers are here for you, Kath! Thank you for always sharing your story. I know you have to be hurting, but you’re so strong (and smart!!) to have this outlook. You’re young and awesome and you’ll do well with anything life throws at you. Big hugs, you rock.
I’ve been reading your blog for years and it’s funny when you feel like you know someone you read about, haha! With that said, I am so sad to hear this. It certainly sounds like you two have a wonderful relationship and we all know how much you love Mazen. I will pray for peace and direction for both of you, I know this isn’t an easy situation. Just know that we all love and support you!!
Big hugs Kath. I’m a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. What matters it that Mazen is healthy and happy.
I have never commented before-though I am a long-time reader (just lazy-not a lurker intentionally!) but needed to come out of hiding to send on my best to all of you. I know this cannot be easy but thank you for sharing.
[email protected] says
Oh wow I’m kind of blown away that you have been so open and honest. To take that step in your relationship is so honorable and definitely, I think, the best thing for everyone in that there is no point in staying together for the sake of a child or children, it would be damaging to them. Best to part or go down separate paths for whatever amount of time is necessary. All so beautifully put, you’re an inspiration!
I’ve been reading for a long time but very rarely (never?) comment.
It takes guts to share so openly and compassionately. I divorced my college sweetheart (no kids) and it was the hardest and best thing I ever did for myself. I actually discovered your blog shortly after that.
Be gentle with yourself and each other during this time. There is no one right path. You will figure it out. And something another recently divorced person told me at the time that helped me through it was this: “it gets all the way better.” I promise it will. Sending you strength and peace.
Maze is one lucky little boy to have two such energetic, creative, and loving parents. My love to all three of you.
Amy I. says
Thank you for sharing your heart with us, many of whom are strangers to your real life! I’ve been a reader for years and noticed Matt’s absence lately. I always appreciate any part of your life you feel comfortable sharing. It sounds like you are in a good place about your decision and wish your family all the best!
I am a long time reader of your blog and always admire your ability to balance sharing so much of your personal life while maintaining a sense of privacy. I can imagine this was a hard post to write. I admire your honesty and bravery. I am certain your optimism and practicality as well as your partnership with Matt will guide you through this chapter. Personally though, I think your post came in to my world today for a reason. I am separated from my husband and have really really struggled to share that news with people- I have told almost no one beyond my immediate family so that you just shared it with the blog world makes you my hero right now. I was just this morning thinking about how to handle a family party tomorrow and the “where is he…?” questions. You have given me some much needed courage to just tell those who love me what is happening in my marriage right now. So, I’m off to write a few emails. Thanks Kath.
It’s such a weight off the shoulders. Wishing you the best!
During the end of my first marriage, I hated telling people, too. Some people were so hurtful. But, I got to a point where after I told someone new, I thought to myself, “one more down.” Once everyone knew, it was easier for me to move forward. Peace to you!
My husband and I just decided to separate and one of the hardest parts is having to tell people. I really appreciate your honesty. Take care!
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. I think it’s really brave and admirable that you are sharing this on your blog. I’ve been reading your blog for years and really admire and relate to you. I’ve recently gone through this, (different circumstances that ended my marriage) but we had been together 13 years, and have a 3 year old as well (Mazen and my daughter were born a month apart). I am now almost finished with the divorce process, we’ve been separated a year and a half. I don’t know where your path will lead, but I can say you are never alone, it does get better and the sun is still shining.
Thinking of you.
long time reader, but new commenter. sending lots of love and support to your family of three! you are wonderful.
I’m a longtime KERF reader – from when you were a newlywed, through your pregnancy with Mazen (when I was also pregnant), until now. It must be difficult at times to live a somewhat public life due to your blog, and especially hard when you want to keep personal events private despite a curious readership. I sincerely hope you, Matt, and Mazen are able to find happiness and peace with this new situation! Thinking of you.
Dear Kath, I totally understand your decision. I separated from my ex-husband a year ago after 14 years of relationship and a daughter in between. It was a hard decision but when your heart knows it is not gonna change, it’s better to follow your heart. Everybody got surprised of my decision but as your friends and family love you, they’ll understand.
Looking back, this past year have been an adventure, I got married again and expecting a baby in less than 3 weeks. The new marriage is a whole different story. It has its ups and downs as every couple but I’m so grateful of this new man in my life and I am glad I was brave to leave the past behind.
Best of luck! And keep in mind and there will be days that you doubt your decision, that’s totally normal.
Regarding Mazen, I think as long as you both put his wellness as priority, he will do just fine as my daughter, she’s still a happy girl and so caring. I think kids just need a lot of love, as long as they get them, they will be fine.
Thanks for your honest post, and I wish you, Matt and your family all the very best. I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time, and your posts on nutrition, pregnancy and parenting have been so helpful to me, as I went back to become an RD and later a mommy! Your future posts on your life as a mom and someone going through this separation will no doubt help others along similar journeys. Thanks for being a great resource during an important time in my life, and I look forward to reading more of your life adventures!
I’m a long-time devoted reader who never comments, but felt compelled to reach out now and say I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I’m sure this must be incredibly difficult now, but hope it will be be best for all three of you in the long-run. Thank you for your honesty and openness in this post, and always.
Oh, Kath, I’m so sorry to hear this news. I always admired the partnership you and Matt seemed to have as you navigated life’s changes (moving to a new city! opening a business together!), I’m saddened to hear that your paths seem to be leading in different directions. Mazen is lucky to have parents that are keeping his happiness as their priority as you navigate this difficult time. All three of you are in my thoughts. You seem to have a great group of girlfriends, I hope you have the support you need from your family and friends. Sending love and positive thoughts!
Oh, Kath. I’m so sorry to hear this. I have been there….and even in the best of circumstances (which sounds like what you and Matt have), it’s still a very difficult experience. I am happy to hear that you feel optimistic and hopeful for the future – that’s everything. No matter the outcome, these things are a profound learning experience if you allow them to be. They are the events of our lives that give us character, compassion, growth and beauty.
When my marriage was ending, I think simply this huge CHANGE was the hardest part for me to face and accept. You may be feeling a little of that at times, too. I want to share one of my favorite quotes that I went back to again and again when I felt scared about the future….
“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for a bird to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.” – C.S. Lewis
My heart and thoughts will be with you. I hope you find writing about your experience cathartic, and hope support from your readers will lift you up. Thank you being courageous enough to share something so personal.
PS – My parents divorced when I was very young. They were friends throughout my childhood and have been even moreso in my adulthood. Don’t forget – though you and Matt are the center of Mazen’s life right now, he is his own person. Sad as it is for us parents of little ones, as he grows, his own friendships and experiences will start to figure more prominently. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Y’all are great parents and he will absolutely know your love. 🙂
I can imagine this was a difficult post to write. Best wishes to you all as you figure out your new normal.
Sending all 3 of you good energy and best wishes during this time of transition. I am rooting for you all to find happiness and peace from my little corner of the internet.
Kath, I’ve been reading your blog since the very beginning and I’ve always related to you in many ways. I’m so sad to hear about you and Matt and just wanted to send love and support your way. Thanks so much for sharing. I know you will continue to be an amazing mother to Mazen and that everything will work out the way it’s supposed to. Thinking of you.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had noticed not seeing Matt in as many posts but just figured he was super busy with the bakery! Sounds like the new beer gig will be a great fit for him.
Thank you for being so open and honest. I love reading your blog and seeing the wonderful food you eat. I am sad for you both, but you must do what feels right!
My heart goes out to you! I have been through this and know how difficult it can be! Wishing you and Matt the best! Love your honesty!
Like many others here, I have been reading your blog for years, but usually never comment. I just wanted to thank you for your open and honest post today – and, in writing it, the trust you show in your readers.
I am so sorry to hear that things have taken this turn. At the same time, I’m sure everything will turn out well. You and Matt seem like loving and responsible parents, and Mazen is still so young that he will probably adapt to the new situation quite easily. After all, every end also has a new beginning.
I wish you all the best, and look forward to following your new adventures here.
clare @ fitting it all in says
Brave, honest share. Sending happy, loving thoughts your way!!
Like many of the previous commenters, i am a long-time reader who has rarely (or perhaps never… ?) commented. But i just wanted to say that i’ve really enjoyed your blog over the years and i am so impressed by your bravery in sharing this particular story. So often, when someone close to me tells me that they’re getting a divorce, my first reaction is to tell them how sorry i am, but i’ve discovered that it is not always such a bad thing. Too many times, it’s something that has been building for such a long time that when a decision is finally made, it’s actually an incredible relief for everyone. This is not to say it’s an easy road, just to say that it’s the first step in a good direction.
I’m so sorry, Kath. This is unquestionably one of the hardest things you will ever go through. But, you know, you also accomplished a 15-year relationship–that’s no small thing. Mazen is certainly well-loved (and happy!) and I’m sure he’ll continue to be so, whether his parents are together or not. Change hurts so much sometimes, but it’s often just a way of getting to something better. I’ll be wishing you a lot of happiness in the future.
I imagine that this was a difficult post to write, as is seperating. Marriage is really tough, especially as life throws your curve balls. I’ll keep you, Matt and mazen in my thoughts.
Lisa C says
I’m sure this personal information is hard to share in such a public way. I’m a longtime reader and I will continue to follow your journey. Best wishes for happiness for you all!
Thank you for your honesty and openness on such a difficult topic. Like others that have commented, I have been a devoted reader of your blog for years and have enjoyed the journey you and your family have taken thus far. I am sad to see that it is headed in a different direction, but also excited to see what is next for the three of you. I know from all of us that enjoy your daily posts, we will look forward to reading about the new adventures that lay ahead for you!
I also have read your blog for a long time yet not commented. This post, however, made me want to write to let you know how sorry I am to hear about you and Matt. I agree that keeping Mazen as the priority during this difficult time is the best way to approach this hard situation. Hang in there.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope this new time in your lives will be healing and positive for all three of you.
I love that description optimistic and realistic. May we all strive for that.
I’m learning as I get older, if I can embrace my path, the bumps and bruises, the joy and smiles… that is truly the goal.
Oh my gosh, this is huge news. It must have been such a difficult decision. Thinking of you all! xx
Lisa Valinsky says
Thinking of you, Kath. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for your honesty.
I’m not sure if you listen to Jess Lively’s podcast The Lively Show. She had an episode on conscious uncoupling, which helped guide her through her own separation with her husband.
Many hugs! xo
Emma Scott says
Kath, what a brave, honest post. It’s clear you’ve come to this after considerable thought and want the best for everyone involved. I appreciate your willingness to share with your readers as you go through this. I am sure it will help other women.
I cannot recommend listening to this podcast episode below enough. If you aren’t familiar with Jess Lively yet I think you’ll become a quick fan. (You may also like her Life With Intention Online course given you’re at a life change, I went through it and can’t recommend enough). The episode details how Jess approached her divorce was complete openness and love. For everything they shared together and the paths they will each take moving forward. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Katy, you take a lot of crap from people on the interwebs, who I think tend to forget that you are a living, breathing person. Thank you for sharing this with your readers. Kudos to you for making such a brave decision. It cannot be easy at all.
Wishing you all the best.
Dwight and I are thinking of you and wishing you, Kanz, and Mazen well.
Wishing all three of you the best. I hope you all find your happy.
I’m sorry to hear about your separation, but I’m impressed with your courage to take this time and figure out what’s best for all of you. I hope that you and Matt are able to find clarity of direction and purpose for your personal and professional lives.
Wow, this is so sad. So many of us are pained to read this news, but I think many of us suspected as faithful readers. I did, but I am sorry to know my hunch was right. I am so sad for Mazen to not grow up with both his parents married, but you know what? I am 100% confident that you and Matt both have wonderful and fulfilling lives ahead, and new partners too! Mazen will probably end up with 4 awesome parents, and I see him being cared for his whole life full of all the love that little guy can need. I’m glad you and Matt had a wonderful time together while it lasted. I often regret that it took me until the age of 33 to meet my husband, but it just goes to show you that life changes on a dime, and I know there’s a lot more in store for you, too! Big hugs, and remember This Too Shall Pass! xx
Ugh – that is hard. So sorry you are going through this. I applaud you for putting your personal life on the web – that is definitely not easy.
good luck to you, matt, and mazen in the coming months and years
Kath, I am so sorry to hear your news. I hope the best for you and your family. Thanks again for being so brave and sharing. I love reading your blog!
Another long-time, non-commenting reader here…just wanted to wish you and your family the best. I’ve been through the same thing and it does get easier and Mazen will be just fine. Best of luck 🙂
Ash diamond says
My prayers and well wishes as you go through this. Thank you for sharing and good luck over these next few months of change.
My thoughts, prayers and best wishes are with you during this time. I appreciate how open you are in sharing this part of your life with us.
Kath, I’m sorry to hear this news. I admire how candid you are and the positive, long-range view you and Matt are taking, especially when it comes to parenting your child. I can attest from personal experience that it’s much better for children to live in two peaceful households than one where the parents are no longer in love. I wish you peace and joy as you look towards an uncertain but hopeful future.
All the best for the three of you. You’re in my thoughts.
I’m sad to be reading this (it feels like we are friends after I have been reading your blog for so many years!)
Best of luck to you, Mazen, and Matt
Stephanie C says
I so appreciate your honesty. Something felt different but I couldn’t put my finger on it and perhaps this was it. As the child of separated/divorced parents it makes me so happy to hear your plans for raising Mazen together. And the way you talk about Matt clearly sounds like you still care for him (albeit maybe in a friendly way now). I hope for good things for your whole family.
Kath, thanks for the straightforward way you’ve communicated this news with your audience. I know I’m not alone in wishing the best for all three of you.
I’m so sorry for this difficult situation in your life, but I admire your bravery in sharing here, remaining positive, and doing your best to be the best parents possible for your son.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m sure it’s not easy even when it is amicable.
You have an adorable little boy and supportive families. I wish you all the best.
Kath – I am crying my heart out at my desk while reading this. I’ve read your blog several years now, and I feel like I know your family. I am certain that you guys will be ok, but I’m sure it’s a difficult time for you all. I’ve said a prayer for you and will continue to do that.
I wish you the best, and I hope that you both find a happy, fulfilling future, whatever that may hold. Good luck.
Wow, what a surprise! Wishing you the best, I’m sure it’s not easy!
Hugs for you and your sweet family.
Silvia @ skinny jeans food says
((Hugs)). there will be a new normal, down the road, somewhere. It will be alright.
Followed (and will continue) to follow for years. Sending you lots of love and support. Your bravery and honest are incredible. Be well.
Thanks for sharing such a huge life transition with us! I am sure after so many years of putting your life out there for all to see its not easy to go through these types of intense changes. But just know you have lots of supporters and a wonderful family behind you. The future looks bright!
Kath – I’ve read your blog since 2011 but I never comment. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I wish you all the best through this difficult time. I thank you for being honest – although I’ve never been through a separation or divorce myself, this post and your future journey will definitely help others going through the same thing. All the best and take care!!!!
I have been through similar. It is not easy but when it is the right thing, everyone comes out better. I wish you and Matt both well.
Jenny Pittsburgh says
I really respect your honesty. I wish you nothing but a lifetime of happiness…whereever that may lead. I think you should be very proud of yourself for making your happiness as a priority. So many times, people stay together for the wrong reasons and that isn’t good for anyone. Good luck to you, Mazen & Matt!
Sorry you have to go through this.
Kath, thank you for being so honest. Your post was a good reminder that through social media, we don’t see what’s going on in the background. I truly appreciate you sharing and I’m so sorry it has to be public with the nature of your job. You’re brave and Mazen is lucky to have you. I wish you could take time off of the blog to do what you need to do, but I imagine that can be challenging. Love your blog. Appreciate you.
Hannah Rankin says
You are all in my thoughts. THANK YOU for sharing. Your strength and courage is inspiring. I hope you that, in time, you can share more on this topic! All relationships challenge us and expose our most human and vulnerable elements. We can all learn to be better versions of ourselves in relationships and as individuals from each other. I love your blog for always keeping it real and personal!
I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you, and then to share it with the world, you are so brave. Thank you for sharing with us and being real! My parents are no longer together, and even though our family may look different, I still get lots of love. I’m very proud of you for doing what you feel is best for you and not being ashamed about it!!
Thank you for putting your heart out there and trusting your readers with it. I am so sorry you and Matt are going through this difficult time. But you are so right–you are full of positivity and you are incredibly strong. I really like the Brené Brown quote another reader posted in the comments before me. So many of us readers are supporting you from afar, and we’re here for you. I’ve been reading your blog since 2007/2008, so I feel like I’ve been walking along side you through many of your life transitions. Even though I might just feel like a stranger on the internet, I’m here for you and sending you lots of support as you all go through this. You’re an amazing woman. Hugs.
Gwen Martin says
I’m so sorry to hear this Kath.
Thank you for your honesty, not because you owed it to your readers but because it can be so isolating going through relationship struggles and I (and I’m sure many of your other readers) find comfort connecting with others in that regard. It sounds like you’re doing the best you can with this situation and I wish you and your family the absolute best, whatever that ends up being. Hugs.
Wow. Thank you for being so open and honest. It is amazing to me that bloggers will open their lives and hearts to complete strangers and I hope that you are only met with support and kind words because I know the Internet can be a hurtful place. But thank you for letting us all in. I am sure your words will help others who are struggling in a similar situation. I look forward to being a part of whatever else you decide to share with us going forward. Best of luck as you learn your new you.
Sending you both all the best and support! As a child of divorced parents, just wanted to wanted to say, regarding Mazen, don’t feel guilty. The best thing you can do for him is be happy parents. If that is separately, it’s a damn sight better than together but miserable. Don’t beat yourself up with guilt or feelings of failure. You both love him and will clearly put him first no matter what, and with that he’ll flourish and be more than fine!
Heather R says
My thoughts are with you. You are strong for sharing this with so many.
I am so sorry to hear this. Thank you for sharing your life with us, even the brutally honest heartbreaking moments. I hope that you and your family find what you need, whether it be together or separate.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I wish you and Matt and Mazen nothing but the best.
One thing I’ve discovered in my own life is that families can (and will) take many shapes and forms. Sending you lots of love and hugs as you navigate through your new journey.
Louise, RD says
Thanks for sharing – having been exactly where you are (separated with a 4 yr old son)…..What I found is that the hardest part is making and verbalizing your decision – everything else will now fall into place, especially since it’s amicable and your mutual priority is the overall well being of your boy:-). Everything will work out – you all seem very good at creating your own happiness, which is essential! Please keep blogging!
I read a comment just now that said “I don’t know you but I feel like I do having read your blog for years.” I feel the same way. I’m so sorry to hear about your separation. My heart goes out to all of you. You’re such a sweet family. I hope you all emerge stronger and happier.
Sorry that you have to go through this.But happy too to see your courage to be your real self.Wishing you all the best for new beginnings.
Gives me courage to take on life and make a few decisions of my own.So, thank you.
This is the most honest and touching post you’ve ever written. It’s nice to see the “real” side of you that doesn’t involve whatever the sponsored thing of the day is. I was forced to announce my divorce on after blog readers outed me and I don’t wish that on anyone. Kudos to you for doing it on your own terms and in such an eloquent way. I wish nothing but the best for you and your family going forward.
Your blog is my favorite to read. I love your honesty and openness. Thank you for being so open to your faithful readers! We are here for you and wish you the very best in your endeavors! Love and light.
My heart dropped when I read your news – I’m really sorry that this is happening, and my first instinct is to want to give you a big hug. I’ve been through this myself. You will be okay. Happy parents make for happy children, and Mazen will see that for sure. Thanks for your honesty and sharing this difficult news with us.
Stacy K. says
Marriage is hard, marriage while raising kids is even harder. So sad to hear you are going through this, I couldn’t imagine navigating the co-parenting scene, but it sounds like you and Matt are on good terms and are committed to Mazen.
I’m sorry Kath! I’ve only been married <3 years (together 5). We're working on our third move since we got married…and marriage is so hard! We were both single a long time unlike you so compromise and sacrifice is also a lot harder than I expected. I thought that marrying a good guy would make it easy, but I was wrong. I wish all of you well with this big change! Your outlook is awesome and inspiring- I have not been so optimistic about leaving NC and a new job that I had only had a few months at Duke so my husband could accept a new position in cold, snowy Michigan!
I am so sorry Kath. Thank you for being so open and honest with us. Wishing you all the best navigating this difficult time. One thing is for sure, Mazen is so loved and that’s really what matters. As a long time reader, I have no doubt you and Matt are the type of people to make it through this with grace.
I have read your blog for years now, I am so sad to hear this news but as always I am so impressed by your optimism and positive outlook for the future. I don’t know you in ‘real’ life but you have always seemed like such a wonderful person, I will be thinking of you!
I’m really sorry to hear this – but hopefully this is the right thing for both of you; and who knows what will happen!
My husband’s parents had an incredibly nasty split and have only recently become amicable. Good for you for putting your son first in this.
I’m one of many who reads often but never comments. Thank you for being so honest and sharing your story with us. You’re an inspiration. Myself, and every one of your readers, I’m sure, will be thinking of you in this time.
You are such a strong person and truly someone to look up to. Thank you for sharing your life and making ours a little brighter in return.
I almost cried reading this… I am very sorry … You made such a wonderful family ! I have never commented here although I have been a regular follower of this blog since I chanced upon it in 2007, today I couldn’t stop. Good luck with everything Kath and stay strong !
Oh Kath! You know I can relate to this in so many ways. Marrying my high school sweet heart and then divorcing 5 years later was ultimately the right decision for us both, but it never makes it easier. Here for you! Lots of love being sent your way through this all!
Oh Kath my heart goes out to you all, all 3 of you! What a selfless thing you are doing for mazen! Although my selfishness is hoping that you find your way back to each other. I’m sure that this was a tough decision for you both to make, but I also think you guys are doing an awesome job at making this transition as easy as it can be for you all. Love to you all! ???? Maybe some time away will help you both reflect on what it is that made you fall in love in the first place and help you both find your way back to each other.
And whatever gods path is for the 3 of you, I know that you will always remain great friends and parents.
Keeping you and your family in my prayers.
So sorry to hear Kath, families come in all shapes and sizes these days! Maintaining friendships are always the best. Thinking of you and Matt xoxo
Kath, I knew you and Matt in college (a decade ago!) and I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog, albeit sporadically. Like so many others have said, I’m so sorry to hear this news but wanted to commend you guys on your transparency and maturity. Sending you virtual hugs, as well as prayers that everyone emerges on the other side of this happier and stronger. Hang in there!
You and your family are in my thoughts as you work through this transition. Thanks for sharing this very personal news with us, we care very much about you.
Erin Hack says
Sending virtual hugs to you and your family.
Ellen @ Wannabe Health Nut says
I’m really sorry to hear this, Kath. I admire your outlook and optimism so much. And that quote about worry is SO true. I’m so guilty of worrying about “what ifs” — most of which really aren’t that serious in the big scheme of things. Best of luck as you navigate this situation. You’ll find your way.
Kath, so very sorry to hear about this. As a parent of a preschooler, I am sure that your concern is with Mazen first and foremost. I also imagine it is hard reimagining what your future will look like. Thanks for sharing and please do keep us posted when you feel comfortable. These honest posts are what makes this blog special.
Cynthia Sauer says
Kath, sorry to hear of what you are going through. I always remember your anniversary since it’s exactly one week before ours.
I hope you both find what makes you truly happy; whether that is together or apart. God bless you both and that sweet little boy! ??
I’m so sorry. So so sorry. I know how hard it is. I had the almost exact same scenario, minus a kid, with dating from an early age. I’m glad you can keep it amicable, and I wish you nothing but blue skies and sunny days ahead. <3
You are amazing! I love reading your posts. I am so sorry that you’re going through this. I am so proud of you for how you’re handling it. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
I was so shocked and sad to read this, although I had definitely noticed that Matt is no longer as present in your daily activities. I just wanted to wish you all the very best. I’m a stepmom (as well as a new mom) and I see the struggles of growing up in two homes in my step kids almost daily. Just my two cents: it really will make a huge difference how well you and Matt co-parent and get along. Divorce hurts kids no matter what, but I do think the greatest damage is often done later when parents attack each other, etc. I hope you guys get through this well and you all will end up being very happy.
Wishing you all the best during this transition, Kath. Life is unpredictable and you seem to handle it with true courage and grace. xoxo
I’m sorry to hear this. Good luck as you move forward. Thanks for sharing.
I know that you have been getting words of wisdom and advice so I’m not going to. I will however keep the three of you in. My prayers.
Kath – Praying for you in this moment. Praying for yours and Matt’s relationship, for healing, for the best for Mazen. Thanks for being so raw.
Sarah @ Williamsburg Baby says
I read somewhere that the period in your 30s when you have children and your career is going great guns, is the “rush hour of life”. It can be so hard for a relationship, no matter how solid it is, to survive this period when every waking moment is about making a living, keeping a child’s needs on the front burner, and just surviving the day to day. I will say I am an only child who was raised by a single mom and never felt deprived in any way. As an adult, I did wind up wishing that my mom had put herself first more and taken risks to get out there and start dating again (she never remarried and I think would have loved having a companion.) It may have been hard for me as a kid but I think it would have been better for us in the long run. Point being, yes, put your child first, but remember that each of you having a new partnership for yourself someday may ultimately be in his best interest.
Another long time reader sending good thoughts to all three of you.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Kath, While I haven’t responded to your post frequently, I have respected you and how your life if full of
caring and happiness at even the simplest things. I know you will continue to be this mom and Mazen will grow into a special young man. Life isn’t easy but we learn as we go and become better people. Many thoughts and prayers for your small family.
Sending strong, restorative and loving thoughts to you Kath.
Like so many readers before me, I appreciate your candor, and the bravery it took to put this out in the open (especially in the blogosphere!) I wish nothing but happiness for all three of you, and you are absolutely right that your positive attitude will help you move forward in the best way!
Missy Moore says
Kath, thank you so much for opening up and sharing. We all have problems, and life is better when we know we’re not alone. You’re a huge inspiration to me, and I know you will get through the trials and tribulations. You’re a superstar!
Kath, I have been reading your blog for years…it was actually one of the very first blogs I started following. You inspired me to start a blog which I have not kept up with but it was exactly what I needed at the time. You seem like a lovely, classy gal and I have enjoyed watching you move from city to city and build an amazing life and family. I don’t have children and have not been married but I have gone through breakups that seemed like divorces. I cannot believe the grace and optimism that shines here on your blog through such a trying time. You are truly an inspiration in so many ways….you are authentic and strong and classy. I really admire you. I got a tear in my eye when I read this. Thank you for sharing your life for all the world to see. Thank you for being an example of a lady, a wife, a mother, a friend, and a down right solid person. I am really in awe of you. Thank you for being so honest. I only wish you and your family the best, and am sure thing will work out as they are meant to be. (I hate it when people say that…but it’s true). All the best to you, Amanda
Long time reader (since about 2007) and just wanted to say thank you for being so honest to your readers. It can’t be an easy thing to do, and I commend you for that. I have been married for 8+ years with two kids, and eventhough I can’t relate to what you are going through right now, I can totally relate to how hard marriage is, especially while raising kids. I have experienced many ups and downs, and realize that when your heart feels like something needs to change, it’s best to listen. I wish you well as you figure out your next path. It sounds like Mazen will have a very loving family life still, which is so important, and also that you and your husband are on good terms. Best of luck to you.
I am so sorry to hear this. Been an avid reader since the beginning. As I have seen time and time again, things always happen for a reason and we don’t always understand in the present. I know you will find happiness in whatever path life takes you – you are just that kind of person.
I have been a faithful reader since 2008, my freshman year of college! You were the first food blogger I ever followed, and have always been my favorite, probably because of your dedication and honest writing – and for posts like these! Thank you for sharing this difficult time with the blog world – I can’t tell you how much it means to me personally to see other people deal with challenges with positive attitudes.
My own parents separated when I was 7 or 8. They never divorced or legally separated, simply my father lived at another house. My routine changed next to none as my Dad continued to come over before and after school and continued to do things around the house (paint, yard work). This arrangement worked for my parents, because despite the fact they were a bad couple, they were excellent friends. When my father was diagnosed with cancer when I was in high school he moved back in to our house and my mother was his nurse until he passed away, at home.
For me, my own parents lives as a couple and as friends has always been an example of how the best thing parents can do for their child is be happy – happy parents = happy children. No matter what path you and Matt take – as a couple, or as friends – just know that you’re both awesome parents to Mazen, and that’s all that matters!
Thanks for sharing their story <3
My heart goes out to you and your family. It sounds like you both have found peace in this decision and all we can do is continue to support you. Best of wishes.
Thanks for your honesty! I truly wish you all the best! I’m a long time reader and barely ever comment but I feel the need to show my support today. This post really resonates with me since I am going through a low point in my marriage as well. My story sounds very similar. Married my college sweetheart and we have an almost 3 year old son. Our relationship has change so much over our 14 years together and the stress of parenting and work had put us in a bad place. It has been a lot of hard work but we are now seeing eye to eye and things are getting better after a year of counseling and open communication. Whatever your future holds I’m sure you will make the best decision for your family. And it seems like to have a wonderful support system to get you through any hard times Families come in all shapes and sizes and as long as you stay positive as you always are you will grow and lead your life down the right path.
Like everyone else, I am SO sorry to hear this news, but as a long-time reader, I suspected something amiss. Marriage is hard and anybody that tells you otherwise has never been married. As for being a parent (which I am not.), I cannot imagine what you are going through especially with Mazen’s life to consider. Thank you for being so REAL, unlike other bloggers who just quit blogging without any explanation. You are very brave. Listen to your heart…and be strong! And keep blogging!!!
What? Why? Come on you two fight for this fight for your child that you created together don’t cop out. Yes I said it. 34 years under my belt so I can speak. Was married at 19 and hell no it wasn’t always good but Damn those vows mean something. Oh I know this isn’t politically correct ,too bad. This boy needs you both side by side think of him, please.
It’s not a contest, so having “years under your belt” doesn’t give you the right to judge Kath and Matt for doing what is best for them and Mazen. It also has nothing to do with being “politically correct”, it’s merely rude to assume you, a stranger, could possibly understand their relationship or where they are at in their lives. Like it or not, the idea that people should stay in an unhappy or unfulfilling marriage for the sake of a child is outdated. People are evolving and starting to recognize that it is generally better for a child to have happy parents who lead separate lives. Regardless, they both will be at Mazen’s side, that is obvious.
Sorry, Kath, if you feel I’m overstepping, but I think this comment is disrespectful.
Anyhow, Kath, I know it’s incredibly difficult, but I am also really happy and excited for you, that you are being so honest with yourself, and everyone, and following your heart. It’s wonderful to hear that you’re optimistic and excited, because you should be. I’m sure great things are in store for you. 🙂
yeah… my first bad marriage was my parents’ and I have never married or had children 🙁
good luck with your son
Kath! I am so sorry to hear this, but also very impressed and happy for you and your family! It is not an easy decision or path, but ultimately it will lead a happy and healthy future for you all. I have gone through something very similar this past year, separating from my husband who I met when I was 20 (I’m 31). I highly recommend Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas. Thank you for sharing your heart, wish you the very best <3
Hunter Terry says
I’ve been been reading your posts daily for the past 6 years. I’m crushed learning this but I know you guys will be more than okay. What a strong example you’re setting by sharing this.
Sending love and positive thoughts your way!
Sarah (Miss Smart) says
Nothing but love to you, Matt, and Mazen.
Kath, I wish you all the best as your family transitions to a new normal. I have never been married, so I can only imagine the pain you and Matt must be feeling.
I was totally shocked to read this. I think my mouth even dropped open a little. Only you and Matt know what’s best for you and your family, and I wish you both the very best of luck.
Sara Guerra says
Thinking about you guys
Kath – I’ve been reading your blog since before you got married – I’ve never commented, but I really felt the need to comment on this post. Thank you for being so honest – this is a difficult time but it sounds like you are making the right choice for both you and your family. Mazen will be ok. Everything will be ok. You are in my thoughts are you make this transition. It’s going to be hard, but the universe will look after you.
Thinking of you all! You’re so brave to put this out there. Hugs
What a beautiful thing it is to share life with others, the ups and the downs. I really admire you for being open about the struggles as well as the highlights. It’s so refreshing when people are real with one another. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
[email protected] Frau says
Wishing you lots of strength, and peace in your decision. You are a fantastic mother and have your priorities right. Life is never how we plan it, but it always works out how it’s meant to be. Thank you for sharing.
Sending you all nothing but the best vibes!
I found myself saying lately while reading your blog or feeding through instagram, “where is Matt”? ” He’s mia hope everything is okay”. Although I am 20 plus years your senior, i have been an avid following and a very long time reader of your blog. I wish you and Matt nothing but joy and happiness. I was trying to explain to my husband that you felt like a friend to me and i was shocked and sad to see your family go thru this and then we both agreed that it happens …we are not the same person we were last week, last month, or yesterday for that matter. God bless Kath. As my mom always says “everything happens for a reason”
Like so many others, wishing you all, all the best. Sending kind thoughts and warm wishes for your new lives.
My heart hurts for you, Kath. Thinking of you all.
I am actually excited for you. I think all of you have a bright future ahead. I have been married 27 years but should have divorced him after year 5 when he stopped even touching me. But if I divorced him, he would be so lost in the world and he barely makes any money. He would end up like his sister living out of a car. I admire your bravery. All of you will thrive and prosper.
Lauren Brennan says
My heart goes out to you, truly. Thank you for sharing all aspects, good and bad, of your life with us.
Kath, thank you for being so honest and sharing your story with us. I wish you all the best. Love and hugs for you and your family. ?
I am so sorry. I wish you the best.
After all the lovely words written above, I just wanted to send you (((hugs))).
I’m so sorry to hear this Kath. I’ve been reading your blog for years and appreciate your honesty and transparency. Sending you 3 positive thoughts <3
I am so sorry that you are going through a difficult time. I have enjoyed your blog for years and I so often feel grateful that you share so much of your beautiful life. Many times your posts have been bright spots during my tough days. I hope you feel comforted by your many friends and your family. I wish I could say something more. Take care.
Long time reader, rare commenter. Thank you for an honest, transparent post. These are the kinds of posts I come to blogs to read, even on food blogs (I am like many other readers in this regard, I suspect) because they are the ones that truly touch upon the realities of life that lurk beyond the perfect facade we all usually present to the world. I am going through a similar experience in my own life and wish you, Mazen, and Matt peace as you each navigate this new direction in your lives.
Kath, I admire your honesty, desire to find true happiness, and decision to not just be complacent. I know you’re a strong woman and will have bright times ahead! Thinking of all of you.
I’m so sorry Kath – I’ve been through a separation and a divorce, and it’s always a difficult decision. I wish you and Matt the very best, and please don’t hesitate to email me if you would like to talk with someone who has been through it. Much love to you – all my best,
I’m sorry to hear your news Kath. I’ve been thinking of you for most of the day. While we’ve never met, I feel like I know you from reading your blog for so many years! You’re such a strong woman–an undertone I’ve seen throughout the years in your writing. This can’t be easy for you. Know you’ve got friends in far places thinking and praying for you to overcome any obstacle and move forward in life. I’ve had a second chance at life myself and know how precious each and every day is. You’re right on to live in the moment, each day to the fullest.
You are brave, courageous and resilient. Sending my love and prayers to all three of you.
I have been a reader since the beginning, but I don’t know that I ever commented! My most positive thoughts are with you during this time of transition. You are such a strong woman!
Sending my best wishes to you and Matt and you dear son. Mazen is so lucky to have you as parents and he’ll continue to be a happy and thriving boy! Wishing you happiness in the coming months too. Congrats on being brave enough to write this.
Wow! I have to say that I am completely shocked I have never posted on your blog but have been a follower for many years. I am sorry for the changes that are happening but hope are good for both of you. I have been divorced for 2 years now and can relate.
Jasmine Myers says
Ah, Kath. I’m so sorry to hear this. I know you’ve always been very private, and I admire your strength.
I married young and divorced at 24. It was an incredibly difficult time (and that, without a child). These things are incredibly tough. Whatever you decide, I can promise you that something wonderful is on the other side. My own experience lead me to the love of my life, and we’ve been together nine years now. Life can be so unexpected. With such a great attitude, you’ll come out on top. ??
Thank you for the honest and beautifully written post. I am so sorry you are going through this, but I know you will be alright, as things have a way of working out for the best in the end. Wishing you strength and peace during this difficult time.
🙁 im so sorry your going through this!! my thoughts are with all three of you during this time.
I share the thoughts of so many others in saying how much I appreciate you and your willingness to share your life with us. Being through the situation myself, I totally understand the emotional, physical, financial and spiritual journey your on. It does take courage perseverance and hope to get through- and I know you have these qualities. There is a great group of people who surround and uphold you and your family praying for happiness and peace
Erin M. says
Good luck and best wishes for all of you.
I have been a reader since almost the start and I did not see this coming. I was actually thinking you were going to announce a second baby. But that is why readers don’t fully understand everything. We see what we think we see and not behind the scenes. Thank your for being real.
Looks like you both have your priorities straight dear girl. And even though this is hard now, time will heal. You will tire of all the platitudes (including mine), you will go through all those grief stages, and come out stronger on the other side. Sending you love and hugs
Sam @ Barrister's Beet says
Thank you for sharing this. It must have been incredibly hard. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I’m sorry Kath…thank you for sharing and know that your readers are pulling for you every step of the way. Hugs.
So sorry you are going through this now. I have been following your blog for some time and I love the recipes, tips and nutritional info that you share. My thoughts are with all of you during this period of transition.
Just want to say I’ve been following your blog since 2008ish time. I don’t think I’ve ever posted before, but this post touched me. I’ve loved watching your personal journey, with Matt and with Mazen. Your ambition as a young couple to open a bakery and new business, your dedication to document all that you eat, and your sharing your parenting journey is something very few of us could do. I’ve always felt your relationship was similar to mine (34 years old, met hub in 2002, married in 2007, 1st child in 2013 and second in 2015 – hubs brews beer among many other things..) so this hits me hard. I believe you’ll be amazing co-parents and Mazen is lucky to have you. Thank you for your strength to share this hard news and know you have a lot of support… Even the silent majority who never post but who are cheering for you daily!
Erin @ Her Heartland Soul says
Sending so much love your way!!
Kate @ Indulgent Wellness says
Praying for you, Matt & Mazen as you navigate whatever lies ahead.
Sending all positive thoughts and vibes your way. Mazen is so blessed to have two parents that are committed to his well being. Wishing you the best in whatever the future sends your way!
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. My heart really goes out to you and your family. Thanks for being so brave and honest. I second (or third) others’ recommendation to listen to The Lively Show and especially the episode on consciously uncoupling. Wishing you all the best.
Just offering hugs and support
You continue to inspire. Hugs to you and your wonderful family.
Sam @ Grapefruit & Granola says
Kath- you know that I have been a long time reader. I am so sorry to hear you guys have been going through this. I got divorced last year and while it was mutual and for the best, it was still hard and painful. But I can tell you a year later that I am happier and doing well. You seem very strong and just remember that you will be okay in the end, regardless of the outcome. I think you have the right approach to focus on the present. I will be thinking about you as you embark on this new stage of life!!
You are so admired by many and have so many supporters thinking of you through this time. You’re great spirit and love of life always come through in your posts, and I know you have much happiness ahead of you!
Warm wishes to you and your family through this transition Kath. Your impact and supportive community is far reaching.
Wow, kath, you are so brave and I have a huge amount of respect for you after reading this — having the courage to share something so personal as well as talking about Matt and your future with so much grace and positivity. I’m in a very difficult relationship (with kids) and I often think we should separate, but I just can’t take the first step.
I wish you the very best. I think you will land on your feet, and mazen will come to respect your decision, too, when he’s old enough to understand.
Ashley @ Coffee Cake and Cardio says
Thank you for your openness. Blogging about our lives can be very therapeutic, so I hope this post helped a little. You three are in my thoughts.
Wow, very sorry to read this. It sounds like you have a great attitude about it, though, and that will only help Mazen with the situation. Best wishes to you, Matt and Mazen! Appreciate your openness and honesty. I’m sure that’s not easy to share.
Kath, I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a complicated matter. I never would have guessed it and I hope writing about it helped you. It is a lot to ask of a 20-something to find a partner for life when they may or may not know what makes them happy yet, so I totally understand how once parallel paths become divergent. I wish you all the best. You are an amazing mother and person and I know you will be happy no matter where you end up. Best <3
My heart goes out to you and your family. My husband and I separated for about a year when our child was a toddler after over ten years together. We each did a lot of soul searching, apart and together. We’ve been back together for almost two years now and our relationship is the best it’s ever been. Just another perspective on the many different paths this sort of journey might take. I wish you well wherever it takes you.
Wishing you both the best and appreciating your openness on here – we do all care about what’s going on with your family!
Never an easy decision or to share. Sounds like you both are handling it well and will keep it that way – for both of you and Mazen. Hugs to all of you as you and wishing you lots of love.
Even though you are much younger than me, I have looked up to you for as long as I have been reading your blog. Your outlook on life and your love for what is important– family, friends, nourishing food– has been an inspiration to me. I will be thinking of you as you figure out this next step in your life. You both seem like incredible people, and I know you will make it work, whichever path you take. <3
Jen B says
Sorry to hear this, and wishing the three of you the absolute best however things change from here. Thanks for sharing with us, you’re right: we do care!
Linda @ The Fitty says
I can only imagine how hard of a thing this was to share Kath–and I’m glad that you guys are parting through a mutual agreement and not a one sided one. You guys are taking it very maturely and I admire that I know that great things will come in both of your careers, even with this change and the selling of the bakery. Maven is blessed to have the both of you!
Change can be scary bt it also means new opportunities!
Kathy W. says
‘m really sorry to hear you’ve been going through this. It’s so great that Mazen has parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts who obviously adore him, and that you have such loving, supportive parents. You are a strong woman, and you’ll come out even stronger on the other side.
However things turn out, wishing you and Matt happiness.
Kathy W. says
i am sorry kath and big hugs to you and mazen and matt.
Longtime reader here too! Wishing you the best in this difficult moment for all 3 of you! Thank you for being so honest with us, your readers.
Relationships are hard, and Mazen is lucky to have such amazing parents who have decided to coparent as friends. Wishing all of you the best.
Been enjoying your blog for too many years to count. Life can throw you curveballs and hope you end up where you are meant to be. Best wishes from Canada.
Hi Kath, such a difficult thing to go through let alone having to share it with your many readers. Hope sharing it has eased some pressure from what must be a very trying time. Good luck with the co parenting, all you can do is your best and hope that all turns out well in the end-and I’m sure it will.
I’m another reader who is much older than you, but yet you are a good role model to me of how to follow your heart and step up to the plate when necessary. I am also going through a separation–FINALLY–after many, many years of avoiding it and justifying my avoidance by thinking I was doing a favor for the kids. But, I can tell you from my vantage point, that I wish I had been sure enough of myself and brave enough to do what you and Matt are doing now and at this juncture. Kids know when things aren’t right and they feel the stress even when you think you are burying all your feelings (my own recently grown kids have told me this). It’s so much smarter to take action than bury your head in the sand. I know you will all find a way to thrive. Thinking of you and wishing you the best.
Aa a long time reader I felt sad to read this news as I feel I know you guys! Many thanks for sharing …I do know life is not perfect and everyone has a story to live each day. So many people and events affect us daily and it truly is a complicated but amazing web we weave daily. I hope the best for you and your family as you go forward…. Mazen is blessed to have you as loving parents to raise him! You will be ok, hang in there.
Jennifer Schmitt says
Thank you for being so honest! It seems like you and Matt are both very nice, hardworking people with great families and I think all of you will manage this difficult time gracefully. Keep it up!
This was a brave post and shows how classy you are.
I wish the very best for all three of you.
I’m really saddened by this news!! I’m a longtime reader and didn’t see this coming. I hope you have an easy transition during your journey.
I love your blog this took me by surprise, made me cry. Wishing you the best.
Hugs to you and your little one.
I literally gasped at my desk and my heart skipped a beat. I obv don’t know you, but have been following since way before Mazen was born. I wish you the best in your new chapter. And it will all work out, I just know it. Much love from Cincinnati!
I have been reading your blog since 2011 and this is my first time ever commenting. I felt compelled to do so because although we’ve never met, I feel like I have come to know you and your family. You are so brave for sharing your whole life – the good and the bad – through this blog. I am so sad to hear this news but it seems like you have a very positive attitude about it all. Wishing you, Matt and Mazen the very best in these tough times!
I am SO SO SO SO SO sad to hear this news. Hoping for the best for all of you!
As a longtime reader and very private person, I admire your strength and candor in sharing something so personal on such a public space.
I read and enjoy your blog every day so wanted to say thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. Positive thoughts for all 3 of you. You are so lovely and have such a wonderful family – this will turn out well no matter what. Wishing you the very best.
I’m so sorry to hear this. As I read the many comments on this post, I found myself wanting to share a different approach. You said you don’t know where your separation will lead. I want to encourage you in that way of thinking – that is, not to jump to the conclusion that divorce is the next step (as so many commenters seemed to assume). I don’t know you personally, and I would never pretend to know exactly what you are going through. I understand that this is a very difficult time, and I would like to lovingly suggest that take your time and not get caught up in the “moving on” mentality. There are many things in life which are not worth giving up on, and marriage is one of them. Everyone goes through hard times – some people more than others – and not every year of marriage can be your best year of marriage. Loving someone for the long haul means standing beside them and learning about them even as they change. You said that you are an optimistic person. My hope is that your optimism will enable you to see better times ahead, for the two of you together. Some things are worth fighting for. There is beauty in persevering, in choosing to love even on your blah days (or months, or longer!), and in holding on tight. In a culture of “instant gratification,” sometimes we need to be reminded of the joy that comes from commitment and perseverance.
I do not say any of this to shame you or to assume I know your situation. My heart goes out to you, and I simply wanted to share a different perspective than what so many others have said (since you said you do not know what the future holds.) I hope you will continue to consider deeply what is best for your marriage, your son, and your family. I will be thinking of you during this time of separation.
Thank you for your fun and informative encouragement regarding exercise and nutrition! My greatest hope is that I can offer you some encouragement back, at this time. Take care.
Thank you for this perspective
I just wanted to echo Emily’s perspective. My own marriage has had some very difficult times. In fact, last year was the hardest season we’ve ever walked through. However, after some extremely difficult weeks that came to a point I thought could lead to separation, we began to turn the corner. By God’s grace, we are coming out of that season. It’s not been an immediate change (old patterns are hard to break!), but we’re fighting for each other and there’s a sweetness and love that is deeper than ever before. I know there are many outcomes and situations, but just wanted to share.
I thought I had sent a reply, which was in the same vein as this, although not as thoughtful
I, too, went through a painful divorce and raised 2 wonderful daughters as a single parent
The most difficult thing a person can ever do
Looking back I wished we would have tried harder to keep our family together
Breaking up a family is so accepted these days, I don’t think couples explore all the ways to stay together as opposed to just giving up and moving on
You and Matt seem to share so much in life: your love of family, your interest in healthy living, a delight in food , drink, socializing and most importantly your son
I have read your blog for many years and have enjoyed your parenting style
Please do not give up
Do whatever you can to save your beautiful family
I truly wish someone had stressed this to me as I think it would have been a better option for us… As I am certain it will be for you
While I do echo all the sentiments your readers have voiced, ie . You are a strong positive woman who can get through this with grace, I still beg of you to do whatever it takes to hold on to what you have
Great advice ladies. Very thoughtful and well said.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Wishing the best for all of you. Take care!
I’ve been reading for years and never commented, but had to add to everyone else’s kind words – thinking of you! Separation is never easy, especially with a child involved, but please take time to treat yourself and indulge (which I know you do). Hugs.
Tulsa Electrician says
So sorry to hear about you and Matt! I hope all will eventually work out for you all and I’m wishing you the best.
Retrouvaille helped my husband and me after months of counseling did not. Though it is sponsored by the Catholic Church, you don’t have to be religious to go. After our Retrouvaille weekend, we finally felt hope that our marriage could be rekindled. Our separation lasted four months, and we’ve been happily back together for 12 years after it ended (21 years of marriage this year!) www.retrouvaille.org
My best wishes to you, Kath. You are such an impressive person. My husband and I always say it’s a miracle that anyone stays happily married, especially after kids, ever. No question it is the most challenging thing in my life. I hope for peace and love for all 3 of you.
Karen H. says
What a difficult time for you. I admire you sharing such personal news. Take care.
Wow! When I clicked the post – I was thinking maybe it was baby related. I actually shed a tear. I hope you are doing ok.
I hope the new transition goes well.
All the best Kath! You are one tough cookie. And I’m excited to see where your journey heads from here xxx
We all have stories and that is what brings us together. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us.
I am so sorry to hear this, Kath. As someone seven months into a separation from my husband of 6 years/together for 12 years, I can relate to how stressful and how much of an emotional roller coaster it is, and there’s not a kid involved for us. I’m still not sure where we’ll end up, but I know it will be for the best either way, and I’m sending good vibes your way that you will figure out the best choice for you, too!
So sorry for what you are going through. Having been a loyal reader of your blog I feel your pain but I know you are a wonderful and strong person. Head Up! one day at a time!
It will be better in the end, if it isn’t better it isn’t the end
Wow, so shocking. Thanks for sharing this with us – I’m sure it was tough.
Sending love and support — I can only imagine how challenging this transition is for you. Keep up the good work and maintain your positive outlook when you can. Something I read, but can’t remember the source of, when I was going through my divorce was this — “It will all be ok in the end. If it isn’t ok, it isn’t the end”.
You’re both doing a great job and will continue to, I know. Keep your chins up!
Oh I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through Kath. Your blog has always been and will always continue to be my favorite blog. Over the past year, I’ve felt disconnected with your lack of sharing as much of your personal life (home, etc.) as you once did…now it makes sense! Looking forward to hopefully seeing more of this personal stuff now that you have opened up about this. Sending big hugs!
Keep following a path that makes you happy and that will make your son happy as well. I have been a single mother since my daughter was born and she is completely secure, spending some time as a “family” and separately with her dad and me. Good luck to all three of you.
I have been reading your blog since you started & im completely shocked. Thank for your honesty. You are such an inspiration to me. I know everything will work out for the best. I’m sending you positive vibes!!
I continue to be inspired by you Kath. You’re so strong and I am grateful for your honestly and transparency, along with the ability to pour your heart and soul into your blog. Mazen is without doubt loved by many, and you all will be just fine. Everything always works out, even if you can’t see the big plan. Chin up my dear.
You are courageous and strong, I wish you all the best.
To add another perspective to the one I read above about “trying to make it work”…
I wish my parents had given me the gift of separating. They decided to “stay together for the kids” and are now nearing retirement age. I’m 25 and still play the toxic handler role/middle man. This has been quite emotionally exhausting over a lifetime for me personally. Not to mention I can see now how staying in an unhealthy relationship has affected them. They’re both experiencing premature health issues, and that’s pretty heart-wrenching to see.
Each family knows deep down what’s best for them. Trust yourself and Matt. Big hugs to you.
I too have been a long time reader of this blog, and wish you and your family the best during this time.
Big hugs – I’m sorry you’re going through this.
[email protected] The Faux Foodie Girl says
Kath…I am so sorry to hear of your separation. It takes a lot of courage and strength to make this move, but the quality of life we give our children stems from quality we give to ourselves. I’ve gone through a similar experience after being with my ex-husband for 17 years, we divorced when out daughter was barely 2 and today, 4 years later we are great parents and partners in raising our funny, happy spirited daughter. Life isn’t always what we imagined it would be, but embracing the unexpected was the best lesson I could learn from my divorce. I wish you all the best in what the new chapter will bring…
Katie @ Talk Less, Say More says
I’m sorry to hear about you and Matt but it sounds like this is what will be best for both of you and you seem in a good place around it. Wishing you and your family all the best in the world!
Kelli H says
Thank you for sharing your story, Kath. I hope for the best for you, Matt, & Mazen. Sending hugs.
Wishing your family happiness Kath.
So you might read this and you might not, but this is truly from my heart. I am the child of divorced parents and I hate the saying, “the kids are alright.” I mean, who wants their precious child to be “alright?” I would venture to say most parents want their children to be wonderful, outstanding and exceptional, not just “alright.” And, I truly believe the best situation for children to thrive is when the mother and father stay together.
My Dad and Mom married young. Because of this, the “mid-life crisi” hit early, around y’all’s age. Please do not give up. Pray, seek advice from couples who have stayed together. Remember the vows you made. Imagine what you would tell your son / daughter if they were on your shoes.
I understand things happen, but remember, nothing is impossible with God and I will be praying for you. Please, feel free to reach out to me if you’d like.
Thank you for saying this Rachel. As common as divorce is, the children always lose most.
Hugs to you, Kath. It is never easy to be in such a position.
Amy B. says
I usually read your blog every day and have been for about seven years now. Had some things keep me away and was just catching up and read this. I’ve read about your life for so long it felt like a member of my family was giving me the news! Such a tough thing to go through, you have my empathy–I married my college boyfriend and that breakup two decades later was terribly hard. So glad you have Mazen to focus on. xoxo
I have been reading off and on since high school (about 6 years now). I commend your courage to share this with everyone. It sounds like it will work out for both of you guys and it definitely seems like you both are doing what is best for Mazen.
Wish you nothing but the best. I remember coming into visit your Great Harvest after I graduated high school. I am from San Diego but we were visiting Charlottesville and other cities on the east coast. I was too shy to say anything to Matt. Anyways, wish you the best with this transition!
So sorry to hear about your separation. I have been reading your blog for quite a while and you guys have always been an inspiration to me. I wish all 3 of you only best for the future! Keep up the positive outlook! I look forward to reading your blog for a long time! 🙂
Gretchen @Gretchen Leigh Wellness says
I’m so sorry to read this news. I’ve been reading your blog for years, and I’ll admit I sort of wondered but then thought maybe he didn’t want to be the forefront of the blog. I don’t mention my hubby a lot in mine.
That said, you are such a smart successful woman I’m sure wish time you will figure this out and do what’s best for your family. It sounds like you’ve really thought about the change. As someone who got married a bit later than most people I know-I was 30- I’ve often thought myself I was a totally different person when I was younger. We go through so many changes in figuring out who we are at those times. It sounds like you are making the right move for your family. I know you don’t really know me, but in tough times I figure it’s always good to hear.
My mantra lately has been ‘This too shall pass’. It’s a good reminder that good or bad, things are always changing.
I have been reading your blogs for around 10 years now but since I have had some health problems in the past year or so,
I haven’t kept up. I am so sorry to hear about your separation. A relationship is a living organism and if it can be saved it is worth the work but if it cannot be saved, it is a sorrowful thing. As with any death, it is normal to grieve. So don’t feel bad when you feel dejected or depressed. I wish you both the best and hope you find happiness in your new circumstances May you still see joy in every day..
Christie Ellis says
Oh Kath. I’ve been a reader of your blog for many years but haven’t popped over to see what’s new in most of the last year. I had the inclination this morning to check in and see what you are up to… to see how big Mazen has gotten and to possibly find some inspiration for healthy and easy weeknight meals. A few clicks later I find this post, and I know it was posted now over 6 months ago, and I haven’t read what’s happened between this post and now, but I want to reach out and let you know that I respect and support you doing you, whatever that looks like. I have two children, ages 4 and 6, and my own divorce finalized this spring. I, too, married young and am a completely different woman now at 31 than I was at 18 when I met my ex-husband. Perhaps not different per se, but evolved, confident, and not afraid to embrace and express the fullness of who I am without apology. These things are never easy, but I have found that they can be very good. Kudos to you for living authentically and being brave in life and on your blog. Sending you love and light for wherever you are today and for whatever lies ahead. <3
Thanks so much for your comment <3
Relocation to Dubai says
Thanks of bunch
You told me on IG that you sold the bakery and I never wondered why. I want to say I’m so sorry but if you’re happy that makes the kids happy. He might be young but they know when mommy and daddy aren’t happy. So hugs from VA Beach!
I’m still eating healthier, and it all started with you. (Passion fruit is really good as well as papaya.) Can’t wait to see what your future holds!
I have been missing in action due to not eating healthy and just saw this post. I’m in MOURNING! I’m 53 and after 18 years of marriage, mine ended but I understand but I was rooting for you!
kajol nehtha says
kath you doing very fantastic job really very nice and helpful keep it up delicious job thank you for sharing with us
Thank you for sharing and for opening-up.Really hard to hear this.
Keep Going Kath.